Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 3/13/2011

Question
Hi,
my problem is that i love someone who is in my class. i think of him all the time for about two years. he never gets out of my mind.i feel that i have lost my self because of him. i tried many times to foget him, but i can't. i don't want to think about him for even one second. i think he also loves me, but this is just my feelings, and i don't want to depend on my feelings. he has to come to me and say something. but i don't want to wait for anyone. i want to focus on my life and forget him.
please tell me a way to forget him.
thank you

Answer
Hello Lena!

No, it's not that you "can't forget him", it's that you "won't forget him". You don't have a disciplined mind in order to catch and redirect those thoughts. Instead, you indulge in them and the pain they cause you. It's likely become an addiction for you.

I have a number of techniques you can use to change your mindset, but I have to wonder if you're even ready for them. Something in your question gives me the sense that you're not. Thus, all the good ideas in the world aren't going to help you very much.

You have decide, once and for all, that you're going to be over and done with all this pain. Until you do that, you're never going to get anywhere with anything I give you. The reality Lena, is that there's no magic; no quick, simple fix for this sort of thing. You've done the work for the past 2 years to obsess over him and now you're going to have to do the hard work to get over that obsession.

The good news is that you can do this and it won't take another 2 years! If you're consistent with it and get some discipline over your own mind, it might only take a few weeks to a couple of months, but first you have to be ready to actually DO this work and to reap the results of it.

On my website is an article called the "34c Deprogramming Miracle Cure". You can find it by going to http://BeingAMan.com clicking on "Articles", then "Search Articles", put "34c" in the search box and click "Search". That article; while written for men, gives you an excellent way to begin reprogramming your mind to stop inflicting this pain on yourself.

At the same time, you need to become self-aware of what you're doing here. You have to get really good at catching yourself whenever you fall back into these patterns; stop and say "NO!!!! I'm NOT going to do that to myself any more!"

If you're consistent and apply the advice in the article, you'll soon discover your thoughts of him go away; or at the very least, end the pain.

I just hope I didn't waste my time with all of this. If you're really not ready to get over him, all of this was a waste.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO/Executive Producer
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