Expert: Azure - 3/14/2011

Question
QUESTION: I met a generous, caring and loving man. we have been dating long distance for 2 years now and he comes to see me now and then. for the past two years he proposed to me twice. i changed my mind both times after saying yes. he really wants to marry but am not ready because am in school. i want to finish my degree and settle down when i am financial stable. My parents and everyone have high hopes in me since few of my family went to college. education is my number one priority at the moment.anyways, i love him dearly and i know i will marry him after completing my school. however, he said that he doubts if he can wait for two more years because he is ready and wants to settle but promised to try his best. he is planning to buy a house end of the year or early next year so he want a family by that time. I know he loves me and he is a good man,husband. I feel very guilty for making him wait and i want the best for him. so he called me couple days ago and told me that how he does not like being by himself and he is stressed out because he doesn't have a wife,kids and his own house.( he tells me this ALOT).he lives in his truck since he is a long distance trunk driver.i felt sorry for him and i told him may be it is better if we break up and he looks for someone that is ready to get married. I mainly said this because like i said i sincerely care about him but also i wanted to see what he is going to say. he gladly agreed and he said that is a good idea. ironically, i felt like someone slashed my guts out when i heard that. i was so emotional and i could not talk so i said i bye & hang up the phone. he did not call me since that day.(5 days today). for the past two years we have been talking daily and sometimes 2 to 3 times a day.
i left him a text and told him i love and miss him dearly and i want the best for him. i called and texted him again after no reply. my question is what should i do, i miss him so much but i feel like he does not need me because i can not marry him now. he needs a wife and that what makes him so happy. it is so hard to move on.i have so many memories of him. my apartment is full of his gifts and cards. everything around here reminds me of him. I am so depressed by this dilemma. I have always been strong, independent and decisive but this is so hard. I don't know how i got so emotionally involved with him like that. thanks for your insights on this.
Ps. he is 27 years old and am 24.

ANSWER: how far is the distance?..how often do you see him?..what kinds of things do you do together?

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QUESTION: about 1500 miles and we see each 5 to 6 times a year. we usually go to movies,hiking,sight seeing,cruise and and shopping. we stay together for the entire time(24/7. to compensate for being apart) and do spend quality time(visits lasts about a week). he is the one that visits and pays most of the bill,am full time student so I can not really afford much but i have paid for couple things in the past.

ANSWER: there's not alot you can do; he knows the choices--if he thinks you're not worth waiting for, he can choose to look elsewhere...

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QUESTION: Thanks. I must say though, it is very hard to let go of the one you love especially if you never had problems with each other. this is one cold turkey. i honestly don't know if i can watch him walk away. I will try to be VERY, Very strong. it is true that this is his choice at the end of the day, as well as mine. He always says if I loved enough i will not wait even a second to be with him.  of course, I don't want to do something when am not ready to prove my love to him or anyone else for that matter.thank you and that was my moms advice too.

Answer
seems like HE had no problem letting go..maybe that fact will help; the best decisions are based on thought, not feeling; he's wrong--just because you love someone doesn't/shouldn't mean you overlook everything else to be with them...sure it's hard to let go, but unless you're ready to drop your lifeplan, you've little choice--all that said, my feeling is you haven't heard the last from him...