Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/2/2011

Question
I really like this guy named Austin but I'm too shy to say hi. My friends think that I should get some courage, that nothing wrong will happen but it's easier said than done. I really like him but I feel like I'm not good enough and he won't like me let alone notice me. What should I do?

Answer
Hello Katrina!

Here's the reality: if you do nothing, it's almost a given that nothing will happen. Is that what you want for your life? To just throw away opportunity after opportunity? That'd be a waste.

Further, it's not your place to decide if you're "good enough" for anyone. Absolutely you are, but you have to give THEM to chance to make that decision for themselves. If you do nothing then you're not even giving them any chance at all. That's not very fair, now is it?

Katrina, being "shy" isn't a reality - it's an excuse. Yes, I know it FEELS real, but what's real is that you're not shy except when it works for you. Think about this: are you shy around your family or friends? I'll bet your not. Thus, you're only shy when it works out to support the excuse as to why you don't do what you really want to do. Then, you can sit back and say, "Well, what else can I do? I'm 'SHY'!"

No, that's not going to wash here. All you need to do is say "hello" to someone. Big deal! Do you know that you're not the only person in the world that would like to meet new, interesting people? You don't think you're that interesting simply because you've been around yourself your entire life.

Others that you meet will think you're interesting and fun - IF you give them the chance to find out.

The very next time you see Austin, just walk by him and say, "Hi Austin" and flash him a pretty smile. There, that wasn't such a big deal, was it? What did it cost you? Nothing! There was no risk at all and all you did was brighten someone else's day.

Now, don't you think he's going to wonder who this cool chick was that said hello to him? Of course he will - just like you would if some guy walked by you and said "Hey Katrina".

That's how things get started.

No more excuses. Go make this happen for yourself. You're going to be surprised at how well it'll work.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"