How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams/ignored
Dear Dr Dennis
I have a problem understanding men. A couple of months ago at university I have been paired with this guy for a group work. We got on really well, and on the last work weíve done together I thought we really hit it off, we laughed and joked all day and I could feel the connection between us.
I was so happy that we became so close that I thought it might actually happen something between us, but the next day I noticed he deleted me off facebook!
I am actually quite shocked, how could I have been so wrong about a guy? I usually have doubts whether a guy likes me or not, but this time I really thought we had a connection. I have been searching for answers on internet and it says that shy guys may want to ignore a person they like because of their own insecurities. I am so tempted in asking him, but I donít want to upset him and alienate him even more. I would rather not show him I have noticed.
I even thought that he didnít want me to see his doings on facebook because he would be embarrassed. There could be many reasons.
My question is, is it possible that someone that likes you ignore you and delete you from facebook?
It sounds to me like you've been searching not for answers; but for validation of what you want to believe. Sure, SOME GUYS might pull away from someone they like because of insecurity, but frankly, that's not common or even "normal". Most guys do just the opposite. They're usually falling all over themselves trying to nail things down with a girl.
There are some other explanations as to why he would delete you.
One possibility is that he doesn't want you to misinterpret things that are written on his page. I see this all the time. Someone Facebook-stalks someone they like only to read something posted and misconstrue what it means entirely. Again, this is one of those self-fulfilling prophecies where you're afraid of what you might find so you read into things to make your fears a reality - even if they aren't.
That's a good reason to delete someone from Facebook, don't you think?
Obviously that's only one possibility of many. Here's the bottom line: only he knows why he did that. What's wrong with asking him?
You can message him and simply say, "You deleted me from Facebook - did I offend you or something?" If he ignores you (which is terribly rude by the way) you have your answer. Likewise if he responds but you can't necessarily take what he says at face-value and may need to probe a little deeper. That would be a good excuse to get together again and talk it out; thus becoming a possible bonding event.
Bottom line: don't make assumptions and then try to react to those assumptions. Find out! Then, you can make choices that are more effective.
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"