How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams/crush

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Question
QUESTION: I just basically want to know how to make this boy like me. What do I need to tell you so that you can answer my question?

ANSWER: Hello Mariah!

Your ages, your situation (work, school, etc.) how you know him and how well you know him.

A paragraph or two should be plenty.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: We're both 12, (don't even bother saying I'm young, I won't hear it) I know him from school, that's how I know him, and I've know him since 2nd grade but just started liking him last year, and I know him pretty well.

ANSWER: Hello again Mariah!

Yes, you are young and that's an important key to helping you. That actually works to your advantage.

Here's probably the most important piece of information that you'll ever get about dating: learn how to flirt to show interest - NOT to confuse!

It's sad that so many girls have absolutely no clue about how boys think. So, they go about trying to show their interested in them only to leave the guy without any message whatsoever. These girls try to be evasive, they misdirect and do all sorts of dumb things making the guys just throw up their hands - and go find someone else.

You're not going to do that however! You're starting early (which is good) and learning the right way to flirt and to show interest.

First off, consider this: what would you like this boy to do? Would you like him to act like he doesn't know you? Would you like him to ignore you? Would you like him to act like you're his enemy? Of course not!

Yet, that's exactly how most girls (and even adult women!) flirt! They actually believe that by acting like this that it makes boys (and men) attracted to them. Mariah, nothing could be further from the truth.

Thus, here's the first key to building attraction in any boy: show him that you're interested. That doesn't mean you fall all over him at all. It doesn't even mean that you're necessarily attracted to him either. All it means is that you're interested - and maybe there's something more if he plays along. Pretty easy so far, right?

The second key is availability.

Being available to a guy makes him want to get to know you better. Not being available (acting like you're too busy for him for example or playing "hard to get") is an absolute sure way of losing a guy. The reason for this is that it confuses boys. We don't act that way and thus, we don't know what you're doing. What you see as acting "coy" we see as you being a mental case! Guys do everything they can to avoid the "crazy chick".

So, here's what you need to do:

Be around him at school. Hang out and be sweet and fun and smile (a lot!) (By the way, all men LOVE the "fun chick"!) Be happy and engaging - not bitter and angry. Laugh at his jokes and make your own too. Touch his arm on occasion because touching creates connection.

If he invites you to do something, be available! Don't try to act "too busy". That doesn't make you scarce at all. It makes you seem like you're uninterested. It's important to realize that we instantly like people who are like us - and people who like what we like. That creates connection too.

Even if he invites you to do something you're not particularly interested in doing, do it anyway. That gives you a reason to "return the favor" by inviting him to do something with you next time.

Do you see how this works? It's something like a dance where both people work together. It's not about getting him to do all the work at all. You have to do your part too.

Give those things a try and see how they work for you. You don't have to change anything about who or what you are. All you have to do is let him know - in your own subtle way - that you're there.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you so much! I really hate to bother you again, but there's this school dance on Friday and haven't started doing any of the things you said YET ( I just got the e-mail)...should I do something?

Answer
Hey Mariah!

You're not a bother - don't worry.

It might be too late to invite him but hopefully you'll see him there. If you do, get started. don't hang out just with your own girlfriends, go over and spend time with him and his friends.

If he doesn't show up to the dance, you can ask him why he missed it on Monday and suggest that maybe he'll make the next one.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

Expertise

Literally, any question related to finding and meeting the man of your dreams. I am the top-rated expert in "General Dating Questions", "How to Attract the Man/Woman of your Dreams" and "Places to Meet People". In fact, over the past few years, I've answered over 32,000 letters from readers, have written over 700 articles, written numerous books, recorded CD's and DVD's, done hundreds of radio and tv shows and have millions of readers all over the world. If your question is particularly sensitive you can also write to me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

Experience

I've written many books on every aspect of dating, sex and relationships. My new book, "How Women Can Approach Men" is already quickly becoming one of our best-sellers! Women have many tools at their disposal and shouldn't have to wait for "Mr. Right" to come along! After reading some of the advice the women in this section are getting from other women, I think it's a good idea to offer a man's perspective.

Organizations
Numerous boards and commissions, civic organizations, etc.

Publications
Thousands of websites, magazines, radio and TV.

Education/Credentials
Doctor of Philosophy

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