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How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams/mutual crush or not? we do work together

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Question
Does he have a mutual crush or what? cuz Im confused .but I do like him?


theres this guy I like at my job,we are the same age 29 im new there well since ive been there he been nothing but xtra nice to me, he'll ask me how my day is going,always smiling at me...he'lol wait for me to get off work if we get off at the same time and ride the elevetor with me....he makes small chit chst when he can...he holds the door open for me....he'll sit back in his seat and watch me if im working in his area and tilt his head back and smile.....

two days ago he rode the elevetor and asked me what am I going to do when I get paid and when do we get paid (mind u he's been there for a few months) I just started..... yesterday he stood in the doorway and looked at me, like he wanted to say something to me but he didnt..... I really like him...and I dunno if hes being nice cuz im new, if hes the company snitch and is nosey, or does he really have a crush on me...we are the same age, im the office professional and he is an engineer......

well he came back to work today and made sure he let me know he was there, cuz I sure as hell wasnt paying attention, he came up behind me with this big azz smile on his face and was like what you workin on....and tried to help me out.....oh he bought something from my family members fundraiser and I gave him a thank you note and it had a clownhat on a coffeemug with a smiley face on it....and I assume he read it, cuz a few minutes after that, I was talkin to a fellow male co-worker and ol boy passed by me and gave me a dirty look ....jealous maybe?
ive been hurt in the past...and I aint tryna get hurt again.....help me thanks

i am african american and he is irish...my family isnt too fod of interracial relationships but i dont care....to me he seems like husband material

Answer
Hello Fedilia!

Let's start here: if you're afraid of being hurt again then just give up. Don't let yourself be attracted to anyone else ever again. The fact is that all attractions/potential relationships involve the risk of being hurt. That's just the way it is. You can't give away that risk or manage it to any degree without completely destroying the things that make any relationship worth being in.

The reality is that EVERYONE has been hurt before. You're not alone. Don't try to not get hurt. All that does is close you off to huge potential joys in your life. Wouldn't that be a tragic waste?

To your question: yes, he's at least interested in you and maybe even attracted. What's really important now is what you do with that.

How about inviting him out for a drink after work one day to get his take on the company and other employees. After all, he knows more about them than you do. This would give you a chance to not only get to know your own workplace better but to get to know him better as well.

DO NOT try to set up lunch or coffee. That's what buddies do, not potential dating partners. Go for what you want and don't be motivated by the risk of being hurt.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
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Remington Publications
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Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

Expertise

Literally, any question related to finding and meeting the man of your dreams. I am the top-rated expert in "General Dating Questions", "How to Attract the Man/Woman of your Dreams" and "Places to Meet People". In fact, over the past few years, I've answered over 32,000 letters from readers, have written over 700 articles, written numerous books, recorded CD's and DVD's, done hundreds of radio and tv shows and have millions of readers all over the world. If your question is particularly sensitive you can also write to me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

Experience

I've written many books on every aspect of dating, sex and relationships. My new book, "How Women Can Approach Men" is already quickly becoming one of our best-sellers! Women have many tools at their disposal and shouldn't have to wait for "Mr. Right" to come along! After reading some of the advice the women in this section are getting from other women, I think it's a good idea to offer a man's perspective.

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Numerous boards and commissions, civic organizations, etc.

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Thousands of websites, magazines, radio and TV.

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Doctor of Philosophy

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