How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams/confused


Hello Dr Dennis

I am attracted to this guy but he is giving me mixed signals. He's been flirting with me for a while, so I told him I like him and he confirmed that he likes me too. Yesterday, we spent the day together, then he explained his ex broke up with him unexpectedly 5 months ago and was not ready for a relationship. I told him I was not looking for a relationship at the moment, because I was busy with my studies and didn't want any distractions. Even though I told him so, he sent me a message later that day saying:

"I do like you, we have a lot of things in common and I find you very attractive, my problem comes down to ethics and whether I believe it's right to continue onwards with no intention of a relationship. you are very good looking, but you're also very nice and I just don't want to hurt you just in case you become more attached to me than what I would reciprocate."

I don't understand whether in reality he's afraid to be hurt again or he does not feel the connection and tried to say he does not want to see me again politely.

What did he mean, I'm so confused.

Hello Niki!

What he's saying is that he'd like to see you again, but it's not about the potential for a relationship. It's far more likely just about sex. In other words, he'd like to be a sex-buddy but not a boyfriend.

It's worded rather vaguely for a reason. If you want to continue to see him he always can fall back on the old, "I told you I didn't want to be in a relationship".

There's one other consideration you need to understand as well: In fact, NO guy actually knows if he wants to be in a relationship with you - or any woman - until after he's had sex with her.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”  

How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


Literally, any question related to finding and meeting the man of your dreams. I am the top-rated expert in "General Dating Questions", "How to Attract the Man/Woman of your Dreams" and "Places to Meet People". In fact, over the past few years, I've answered over 32,000 letters from readers, have written over 700 articles, written numerous books, recorded CD's and DVD's, done hundreds of radio and tv shows and have millions of readers all over the world. If your question is particularly sensitive you can also write to me privately and securely at:


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