How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams/getting along with someone
I don't get along well with my mother. We just don't see eye to eye. A couple of years back I vented to my Uncle's wife about my issues about my mom and things she does that annoy me. She told me that if I can't get along with my mother I can never have a relationship with anyone. This stuck with me and I think it is affecting me subconsciously. Do you think this is true? I feel doomed if it is but I seek the truth so I have to ask.
I know plenty of people who don't get along with their mother who seem to do OK in life. Life is better if you can get along with your family, but you didn't choose her, did you?
My mother is bipolar. She left my family when I was 9. Is that the kind of mother to love? Maybe not, but I'm often the Loyalist-type and feel responsibility to my family. I kept in touch with her (writing letters, sending cards, inviting her for holidays, etc.) and still do even though she says clearly on the phone from the nursing home that she's dropping the phone (meaning that she doesn't want to talk to me since she's obviously not dropping the phone). I had to work through it in different ways throughout my life as it gave me low self-esteem and other issues. Dysfunctional families can mess you up.
I didn't want my family with my husband and kids to be dysfunctional so I worked hard at it and I think I did a good job. My kids don't like my family (4 siblings & many nieces & nephews) and they hardly know them really. I saw them as often as I reasonably could. I also sent them cards and gifts and then they didn't even call sometimes. That's why my kids don't like them, because they saw that my feelings were hurt when I cared about them and they didn't seem to care back. I forgive my siblings, because we had a hard knocks life and they didn't learn to love or do relationships properly.
My husband's family has been more of a family to me and my kids, so that's who we're close to. I'm so glad I made the decision to look for the right man and put the effort into getting him since it made all the difference. I was 17 when we met so his loving mother helped me learn what I didn't figure out in other ways. I didn't marry a man who was very possessive and believing that women should be subservient as my youngest sister did. I looked for and found a man who was not only intelligent, had ambition to help provide for a family in a traditional way, but also had a modern sensibility of believing in equality for women and he's very caring. A lot of that came from his mother.
I think your relationship with your mother is affecting you subconsciously, but you have to deal with how you feel about her in your own way. Your relationship might improve if you see less of each other. My relationship with my daughter did. You are not doomed!
Love yourself and don't allow others to mistreat you (in a caring way or not). If you love yourself, that man you're looking for will see that loving you and be able to love you, too.
All the best,
Friend me or follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rhapsodyl