How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams/love

Advertisement


Question
QUESTION: Isn't it true that when someone loves you and meets your love need then you want to reciprocate and treat them with love too?

Also, isn't it true that sometimes when you love someone who is too sick to love you back then sometimes it doesn't matter because the effect that your love had on the person can be seen. But if they can love you in return that would be all the more wonderful.

Thanks!,

Lauren

ANSWER: Lauren,

I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist, so I can only answer as a person who's experienced love and have observed many different examples of it and read a lot about it. I'm assuming you are referring to romantic love since that's what the category where I answer questions is about.

It is true if someone allows you to show your love to them that it is likely they want it and then it is likely they'll return it. Though not everyone expresses their love in the same way, so to know if it is the kind of love that is romantic and could last a lifetime requires communication.

If someone is too sick to express love in any way, that is sad. People in hospice are often in that situation and it is wonderful when people will go to hospice and be with their love to the end. They do say that hearing is the last thing to go so even if a person is in a coma, they may appreciate kind words, reading a book to them, and/or singing a song (especially if you know their favorite songs and you can sing well, though recorded music is good, too). It saddens me to know that there are people who argue or speak of sad or unkind things in front of people who are very sick.

If you love someone who is very sick and you'd like to help them feel better, that is wonderful, though that does not mean that they will love you in a romantic way that will last a lifetime when they are well again.

I hope that helps.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you I appreciate your response to my question. I was speaking about love in general. Like the love of a your grandmother, a baby or a dog. But I respect your answer.

What is your view on the words in a song that give you the chills (in a good way) when you hear it... it could be a romantic song or a song that just reaches your soul. I asked someone one time if they think that a guy could really feel the way the song writer , Neo, feels when he says that he can see that there is alot of pain in your eyes and he wants to love you until you learn to love yourself. It sounds like he is speaking about a girl who has been emotionally abused and her self esteem has been damaged but he will nurse her back to health with love.  I think this is very sweet to hear but I was disheartened when a person I confided in said that he doesn't believe a word he says because he just says that to sell songs. So what he said about selling songs took the pleasure away from listening to any song.

Answer
Lauren,

Oh, I see. I assumed you were referring to the category on this site, but I don't mind commenting on love in general.

I think when you respond to a song like that, you are relating to it in some way. I agree with you about the interpretation of those lyrics.

I'm sorry to hear the person spoke to you so coldly about the song writer. Song writers are artists, artists are creative, and creativity takes a certain amount of feelings. Not just anyone can write a good song, but it's not necessarily an expression of the songwriter's personal experiences. There is a lot written about Ne-Yo online. Sia, a woman, actually came up with those lyrics. They remind me of the Whitney Houston song, "Greatest Love of All" ("is learning to love yourself"), so Sia might have gotten the idea from her.

It doesn't matter where the songwriter(s) got their ideas. If you relate to them with feeling, they are meaningful to you. The person you confided in was not very sensitive to you in the way he spoke to you. Don't let some callous person ruin your love of music and love songs.

How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Rhapsody Love

Expertise

Looking for a lifelong, loving relationship? I`ve been with the same partner for 30+ years and we're in love now more than ever. It's not just a coincidence. I've worked at it and the first part was to find the right man for me. I hope I can help you do the same. I've been answering questions online for over a decade & my ratings show that people like my advice. I've also helped people in person and in other ways online.

Experience

My own marriage has worked out great, though it has taken work, I've learned a lot and continue to learn. I realize, though, that everyone is different and so is each relationship. I enjoy continuing to learn from others. I know many couples - some who have made poor partner decisions and others who've maintained a lifelong relationship of love. I've also read a lot about this subject.

Education/Credentials
I am educated as a teacher and primarily work with young people, many who are already attracted to the opposite sex at a young age, but their families often are poor role-models for having a life-long relationship (like mine were, but I succeeded any way).

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.