How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams/Disappearing
Maybe easiest if I describe myself first. I turned 27 this year, have a career in finance, have a formal education, am a long distance runner, a dancer, and have worked as a model for years. I have doing fine financially, live in a wonderful area, and am considered mature for my age by my friends (many of who are older than me.) I've been praised by nearly everyone I've dated as an A+ and always talks of marriage and children are brought up by the guy first (literally never me.) I don't consider myself conceited, but I am proud of the decisions I've made and try to do the best I can every day.
I care about my health a lot, and consider myself to be a very solid and dependable person. My friendships are lifelong so far, I try to be considerate in the things I do and I would never mean to hurt somebody.
It wasn't really until the last year or so that I had considered it was time to get married in the next 5 years about. I think I have a pretty good idea of what I want in a partner. For some reason, when someone seems like they are on the right track and look to be a good person to continue to pursue, something huge and terrible will happen, and I will call it off, and months later, they appear again asking to see me again, I agree to give them another try and they disappear!
The first time this happened, we had stopped seeing each other for a few months, and he called out of nowhere after months of silence, and said he promised it would be different if I would only see him again, I was the most perfect person for him, he had to at least be able to try again, and it would be right this time. I agreed to meet him. Then silence, for weeks. Long past when he said he'd show up. This made me upset, so I called him out on it, asking why he'd even bother to reach out in the first place if just intending to leave me hanging. He said I had no right to be angry at him, took back all the promises he made, and that was the end of it. To be honest, looking back at that, there were a lot of signs he was not really a great person anyway (treated exes badly, was insecure, very controlling), and should be glad he didn't pull through.
Last year, another man who i had a more difficult relationship with (we argued more, and he was very temperamental) ended in him losing his mind so badly at a horse race that he started yelling at me and other people around him at the venue, and drove off, leaving me there. Obviously I broke up with him. Six months later, he did the same thing, and promised he had spent a lot of time working on himself, and understood where he went wrong, prayed hadn't found anyone else yet, and would like to meet to talk if I would only just see him once. I agreed to meet and talk to him. He said we would meet that weekend or the next, and he would let me know when he had a better idea of his work schedule. Again, he disappeared, and I never heard from him again.
Most recently, a man I'd only dated for maybe three months but was nearly everything I was looking for, showed up after absolutely no contact for a year. Our dating ended when he promised to help me with something really huge and important to me in my career, and then never did. I said I couldn't believe he would let me down like that, he said he didn't know what he did wrong, and was so sorry he'd upset me, then we never talked again. Just a month ago, he asked me if I was with anyone else, we talked for about a week or so, and asked if we could try again. I said yes, I'd love to see him (I always loved him, but didn't tell him that). He said this week we could meet up, and no the whole week has nearly gone by and he's been silent.
I don't understand what is happening. I have plenty of self esteem and self worth - I don't take things I don't deserve but I'm also willing to try and understand people and give a second chance if they demonstrate true effort and change. It's like these people show up who are 99% the right one for me, then a fight happens, they promise to go through it because they want me to stay with them, and they literally disappear. What is going on here?
first, i'm not dennis, but since you wrote...i think it's a combination of 2 influences; first, people nowadays, but not all, are generally less considerate, respectful, rational; guys especially will partake in the "all sizzle no steak" space, where smooth talk seldom leads to the fulfillment of empty promises--it's the behavior not the words that matter; 2d, coincindence/bad luck...you are choosing or running into flighty guys; you flip a coin and heads comes up 3 times in a row; so keep looking, tails will appear eventually...