How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams/Did I ruin this


QUESTION: So I've been dating this great guy... He's made it clear he's looking for the right girl for marriage.. He's been engaged before and I've been divorced he said he understands people at our age have baggage... We have great chemistry get along ... Got intimate and had sex on our fifth date I invited him over. He shared somethin personal with me about how he used to smoke marijuana in college and once it was accidentally laced with pcp and he was sent to the ER.. I shared with him a personal story about how I recorded my bf n I having sex ten years ago and I guess it took him by surprise which I guess it would anyone.  He told me he was surprised n I look as though I have a good head on my shoulder .. I told him he threatened to blackmail me with it ...Then he asked questions like why would he do that to which I said we were really young and he was out of college I was going into college and we drifted apart ... I kinda states having feelings for someone else and he prob got jealous...
I was nervous and jokingly asked him are u judging me? He jokingly replied I'm not now... I was five mins ago...
N he was asking why I don't rmr I'm like it's been a long time n I've blocked it out of my memory and I told him I don't want to talk about it anymore ... So he never brought it up again....

AFTER that convo, we went to sleep and he asked why I chose to go on a second date with him so I told him how I thought he was a gentleman , and I was nervous cuz u Seemed like a good kid and I didn't want to corrupt you. He laughingly said how he is a good kid...and he told me why he liked me...he thanked me
For a
Compliment I gave him... he told me what makes him fall asleep and showed me how to rub his back so he'll fall asleep... We cuddled, shared some more stories...

Then we would laugh and talk in two different lanaguages( we're Indian so we have another lanaguage we speak) so he was like "we have our own special language "

Then I asked him if he thinks this is going somewhere and he said "well what do you think?" I'm like I think so but the last time I thought so it wasn't ... So he goes "me too"

My question is... Does it sound like what I told him bothered him? I only told him cuz he told me something and
He asked me what's one thing I could erase from history ... He's a hospital doctor so he had an overnight the next (he stayed over Saturday night ) I texted him Monday afternoon to c if he got any rest and he goes "hey you. I just woke up slept like 3 hours." So I just said "aw well I hope u get better rest tonight and get that 45 minute shower " he's like "oh I will... I plan on taking a hot shower for 45 mins n going to bed. I will sleep like a baby" I didn't text him back I Let him be. But we don't text often or all day anything like that... Anyway if you could help me by answering that question that would be great:) we've been talking and dating for a month now.
Thanks. He's really honest so I feel as though he'd tel me by now .. Oh and he hasn't logged onto the online dating website where we met in two weeks...

ANSWER: It sure sounds to me like you have a real good chance with this guy. He doesn't sound like the kind of guy who would cheat on you.

You seem to feel self-conscious about the personal thing you shared, but it didn't drive him away. He's still there for you and you have something special going on.

People judging is natural, but he said he did and then he stopped. That's pretty good. It's good for a relationship to have honest personal discussion and it will also be pretty natural to feel uncomfortable about it.

I can't predict the future, but it doesn't help to be pessimistic about love, in my experience. Be realistic and hopeful. I think it's going to work out.

Good luck!

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QUESTION: Oops! I asked this in the rating section...

But any chance u know what signs I should look for if he was bothered
I figured by now he would have been up front and told me

Commitment is a problem for a lot of people, especially if they've been hurt before.

Actually, the boyfriend who became my husband did not express a desire for a long-term relationship until I brought it up over a year into our relationship. I'm not suggesting you wait that long or that you have to be direct about wanting a long term relationship, but if you want to know how he feels or what he's thinking, ask.

You might be specific, like "what are your dreams for the future?" and "do you see a family with wife and children in it?" I don't know if you want children, but if you do, it could be a good thing to ask. And "what do you want to do before you settle down and have a family?"

I asked my husband similar questions and he said he did want to have a family, but he wanted to finish college first and have a good job. After he did that - 5 years we had been together, he hadn't asked me to marry him, so I asked him why he hadn't asked me to marry him yet and he said he didn't know. So I asked him to please think about it and we should talk about it on our next date (we dated once or twice per week then). I had to be the one to bring it up again. He said he still didn't know, so I asked him if it was because we started dating so young and he hadn't had a chance to date many other women. He said that was the reason and so I told him I had to leave him since he couldn't do that while I was around and I didn't want him to regret that for the rest of his life if we got married when he didn't have that chance. It was scary, but I left him - we still talked on the phone once per week to just stay in touch. After 3 mos. he finally asked me to marry him.

I know you're in a different situation and I don't expect that will be your case. We're all different and experience life and love differently. Sometimes patience is needed and you need to decide what is right for you in the relationship and get to know him well enough so you can ask the right questions and take the right actions. Men can be shy or afraid or have any of the emotions women have and a lot of the old taboos, like men should ask first, don't hold true any more.

I hope that helps.

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Rhapsody Love


Looking for a lifelong, loving relationship? I`ve been with the same partner for 30+ years and we're in love now more than ever. It's not just a coincidence. I've worked at it and the first part was to find the right man for me. I hope I can help you do the same. I've been answering questions online for over a decade & my ratings show that people like my advice. I've also helped people in person and in other ways online.


My own marriage has worked out great, though it has taken work, I've learned a lot and continue to learn. I realize, though, that everyone is different and so is each relationship. I enjoy continuing to learn from others. I know many couples - some who have made poor partner decisions and others who've maintained a lifelong relationship of love. I've also read a lot about this subject.

I am educated as a teacher and primarily work with young people, many who are already attracted to the opposite sex at a young age, but their families often are poor role-models for having a life-long relationship (like mine were, but I succeeded any way).

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