Expert: Azure - 8/17/2006

Question
Hi Azure,

I have a need for some advice on what to do about my current situation.

Myself and a girlfriend of mine a couple of months ago met up and went to go and watch a movie at the cinema, after seeing the movie, I decided to call up a guy friend of mine that I hadn't seen for ages! We had arranged to meet up for a drink. While we were on our way to going to meet up with him, he called me to say that he was going to bring another guy friend along. So we all had a nice drink at the bar, and while we were all talking, I started talking to his friend. He seemed very attractive, intellectual and witty. Very nice to talk to!. That night ended and it was said that he liked me and I also liked him, so we exhanged numbers and have ever since been really close ever since i.e spending alot of time together, having alot in common, just even staying in the same bed enjoying each others company but not going any further i.e being sexually intimate. He and myself have both agree that we get on in so many ways, on an intellectual level, our views, the things we like etc.

Things in such a short space of time started to get very intense as we were spending alot of quality time together, he and myself were also thinking of going to away for a week together next month, that is how much we click!

So I starting thinking, and said to myself that maybe we should slow things down a little, and he couldn't understand this as he likes my company etc... but originally I was not looking for a boyfriend and he wasn't looking for a girlfriend for now..

My personally feeling was that things were getting slightly intense, I that I didn't want to get hurt in the long run? what do I do, do I just go for it and have fun, or do I be wary of getting hurt?

So in the end we had just decided to be friends, as he said he liked me alot, we get on in so many ways but he isn't looking for any commitment right now. So I have tried being friends but it is just not happening. For example, he has been asking me about our holiday etc... this is confusing what does he want?

As I know he likes me, he rings me, emails and comes to see me all the time, wants to go on holiday. But wants to be friends as he dosen't want commitment...

What do I do, do I want until he want's commitment, or do I move on, do I go on this holiday?

Please Help?

Janel

Answer
the "error" was in artificially tampering with the natural flow/direction of just dating, and trying to subvert these feeling into a "pseudo friendship"; but i'm a tad confused--at first it seemed the friends thing was your idea; then you said "we" decided to be friends, later you inferred HE was advocating the friend thing; pls clarify..