Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 11/19/2007

Question
Hey Susan,  I have a bit of a problem. I'm 20, currently attend university and am incredibly single (sigh*).  Anyway, I need some help with this guy.  I don't know how to attract him.  I see him about once or twice every couple of weeks with my friend who watches her boyfriend play sport.  The guy that I like is also on her boyfriends team (she initially wanted to set me up with this guy).  Long story short, I am going to be seeing him more often at her place, but I want to know what to say and do cause I HAVE NO IDEA! plus I recently lost about 10kgs which equates to 22pounds so i don't have the best body image.  Also I'm still very much a virgin, not that men haven't tried, I just haven't had any strong feelings for my previous boyfriends.  So as you can tell I have no idea what to do.  

Any help would be greatly appreciated!!
Thanks

Answer
Dear Samantha,
Congratulations on the weight loss.  That's much to be proud of.  Do you have a nice new wardrobe?  What fun.
Well here you have the perfect opportunity, because you will get to be around him.  Just be yourself, only your BEST self (no spilling of traumas, etc.) just nice conversation.  Always good to get them talking about themselves.  We ALL love that, especially guys.  You'll have a topic righ there, with the sport.  Be a little flirty - a twinkle in your eye.  Nothing skanky.  That's a turn off.  If you do not know how to "flirt," please email me for some coaching - sdunn@susandunn.cc .  Don't worry about the s** thing; there are more important things to work on early on.  See if you enjoy talking to him - does he make you laugh, does he have a nice personality, does he have his life together, HOW DOES HE TALK ABOUT HIS MOTHER, LOL.

Work on not getting 'nerves.'  Practice some topics of conversation (movies, books, school, weather, sports, political scene, where he has lived, what his plans are).  The best way to put people at ease is to consider their feelings and comfort, and ask them about themselves.  Breathe deeply.  Remember to breathe deeply, so you don't freeze up, or start to jabber!

You can do it!  You have to let nature take its course.  It's wonderful you will get to be around him, that's the best part.  Then if you appeal to him, and vice versa, it's a go.

Let me know how it goes.  
Good luck!
Susan Dunn
www.susandunn.cc
sdunn@susandunn.cc