Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 6/26/2007

Question
QUESTION: Hello Susan,

I was madly in love with a guy named Marc, who it turns out was cheating on me with a girl named Cynthia the entire time and dumped me to be with her. Ain't life grand. Worse yet, Cynthia has a serious boyfriend back home.

He emailed me the other day (months later out of the blue) asking how I was doing, that he missed me very much. I was going to ignore him...but then I thought, let's have some fun with this one.

So I joked (he knows my sense of humor) that I had turned into a lesbian, was married to a woman named Nicole and was pregnant, but she was not the baby daddy. I said when him and I were dating, I never cheated on him with Nicole, but I was cheating on him with another woman, a woman who was the baby daddy, and her name was Cynthia.

So instead of getting mad and whining 'why did you cheat on me' I joked and said not only was he cheating on me with her, but I was cheating on him with her as well!

He doesn't know that I knew about Cynthia, he thinks I am in the dark and don't know who she is.

I am sure his face was white as a sheet reading that!

So anyway I blocked and deleted him from my profile. I deleted all his photos, emails, everything. Was this the right thing to do?

- Ana

ANSWER: The right thing to do in terms of what?  What is it you wanted to accomplish?  

Susan

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I guess I just wanted to let him know that I wasn't an idiot and yes I knew about her, before I cut him out of my life completely.

Answer
That's probably as good a way as any.  I'm not one for retaliation.  You did something relatively harmless, it made you feel good, got the message across to him, you took action of sorts so you don't feel hopeless and helpless.  Now take some positive action on your own behalf that makes you feel good.  Time to let that experience go -- the two of them deserve each other -- and good for you for deleting him out of your life.  You deserve something much better than that.  Remember, not all guys are like that, and neither are all women.

For a quick primer on how to do it next time, I suggest me ebook DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN, available here: www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html.  

Good luck, stay in touch,
Susan
www.susandunn.cc