Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 1/9/2008

Question
QUESTION: I have always known that woman mature faster then men. Most of the relationships i have been never work out and I am always the one getting hurt. I care more then they do. Sometimes i wish i can act more like a man. Most of my friends have men that will do anything for them. And they dont even treat the men right. I was always gotten screwed over because I am to nice. I would like to find a man that will anything for me and the he would appreciate and never take advantage of me. How can I get a man to do that?

ANSWER: Read my book DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN, and/or get coaching with me.  Being "too nice" is a formula for what you see above - but the opposite is not being "mean," it's something else.  I go into this in the ebook.

http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.htm. .

Important to get this distinction.  They are not treating their men ... in a way that gets them dumped and run over and hurt!!!

Susan

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QUESTION: I cant view your ebook. Can u just give me some quick and brief pointers?

ANSWER: Sorry, here's the link, and you really need to study this:
http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html.  It is not a quick lesson.

I don't know for sure what you mean by "nice", for instance, but think in these terms -- be easy to be with, but hard to get.  Fawning all over a guy, making the plans, sitting by the phone, giving it up too early, appearing desperate ... all these things do not work.  

Hold you chin up.  Hold on to your heart.  Do not CARE MORE until you get some indication that he cares about you.  This means not being so "nice."  Hold off on the physical.  Showing a man you care about him is a turn off, not a turn on -- until he makes up his mind.  Be a bit aloof and mysterious.

I do NOT mean to be bitchy, or mean.  There is no call to be rude, impolite, etc.  Just hold back.  Men don't value what they don't have to work for.  Don't be so quick with things.  Let him do the work.  

What's tricky is that we wait so long for one who appeals to us, we tend to think, "oh boy this is it" and we go overboard.  This takes all the fun out of it for a guy.

Don't hand out your phone number easily.  Don't return phone calls or emails for at least 24 hours.  Act like you have a life, and lots of other things going on.

Those are just a few of the tips.  I don't know where you are on the physical thing, but you can break about any of the rules as long as you don't jump into bed with them.

Read the book.  You need to.
Or better yet, get coaching from me.  sdunn@susandunn.cc  You need a strategy, and a strategy goes step-by-step.  Point-by-=point.  We can catch you at the beginning, and you are doing something wrong from the very beginning.  This stuff can be learned.  What are you waiting for?

It isn't so much GETTING a man to do that, it's LETTING him do that, and you don't get the difference, so you should invest in this.  Like put your money where your mouth is.  Get serious about your life.  I encourage you to do this.

Warm regards,
Susan Dunn
pwww.susandunn.cc

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QUESTION: I am currently dating a man that I dated 6 years ago. We were both freshmen in high school. We dated about 2 to 3 weeks. then we broke up. Throughout the years I dated other people and he did too. He is 22 years old and i am 2o. We recently started dated about 3 months ago and I am so happy with him he treats me like a queen. He has change so much but at the same time I am afraid that he will hurt me. I guess i am still traumatized of all the things i have been through in the past relationships. I want to let go of the past. But at the same I dont want to get hurt again. When we have arguments i imediately want to walk away of hang up cuz i dont want to argue, because the arguments may get heated and may cause us to break up. Like my past relationships. He tells me not to avoid him and just to talk about it. But i am so scared. Can you give me some advice?

Answer
You attract what you think about.  It's tricky to quit thinking he's going to disappoint you, but if you do, you will almost make it happen.  Try and relax and tell yourself each one is new, and this one is different.  Bear in mind that what you have done in the past produced things you didn't want (like walking away), so try something dfferent.  If you would get coaching, it would help you choose new options that will wor instead of any old thing, like shooting darts, but you must admit that what you have done in the past hasn't worked and it calls for new behaviors, approaches, and thinking.

All the best,
Susan Dunn
For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .