Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 6/22/2007

Question
Susan,

I am currently dating a guy that I think is extremely cool but seems to think he is a ladies man.  He  thinks that he says all the right things and does what a woman wants, but in less than one week, I'm ready to stop seeing him.  He claims to be intuitive about women but as far as I'm concerned he carries excessive baggage of past relationships with him and throws it all right on the feet of the "newbie".  He admits that women usually leave him with in a week because he likes sex too much and plays too much and is generally just too much!  In less than a week he has told me about at least 10 past relationships with models, dancers and fitness instructors (just like me).  I find myself consumed with helping him to see what he is doing wrong but I'm pretty sure that he is too far gone, for Christ sake he's 36 years old!  Help Susan.  I am just gonna be another woman that has let him down in less than a week and I don't know how to do this.

Answer
Uh oh.

Doesn't sound good to me.  Sounds to me like women "leave him" in less than a week because he's obnoxious.  And what is there to "leave" in just one week? There isn't anything to "leave".  Am I missing something?

I'm somewhat confused reading this ... who thinks he's a ladies man?  And what does "ladies man" mean.  To me it's a negative term.  Does he -- or do you -- think it's a good thing to be?

It really threw me how you ended it.  I didn't see that one coming.  Are you somehow feeling sorry for this guy??

True he's got problems.  Not true that you could help him with them.  Not good that you 're even considering it.

A man who feels compelled to tell you about 10 past relationships - well, are you supposed to be impressed that he's dated models and dancers?  What's impressive about that? It's a real bad sign, like a woman who says "I only date lawyers and doctors?"  We date people, don't we?  People who do various things for a living??

I think he's got a line going (well bigger than that, more like a schtick -- and it appears to be working on you.  

Uh oh!

Susan Dunn
www.susandunn.cc