Expert: Azure - 12/23/2004

Question
Thanks for your advice, but I already tried the internet dating thing and it was not a very good experience.  Any other suggestions?
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Followup To
Question -
Hi,

I'm an attractive 26 year old female.  High on life, low on drama, active, physically fit, fun to be around, well-read, good conversationalist, etc.  However, I can't seem to meet any good guys.  They are either jerks or not physically attractive. I'm not that picky about looks, but even the guys who are sometimes not that great looking turn out to be jerks as well! (By jerks I mean they act as if they are looking for something serious and then the next thing I know they are saying they are confused or not ready -- it makes me feel really dumb) sigh... I'm not sure what to do...I'm tired of going out on all these first and second dates...would like to be in a serious relationship. I keep myself busy with friends and my hobbies/interests but I would like to find someone to share life's adventures. Any suggestions?

thanks,
me
Answer -
stay patent, positive, prepared, pro-active; many are called, few are chosen, as the saying goes; it's frustrating at times, but in the long run your discriminating taste will benefit you more than settling for less than you deserve; unfortunately, most people, especially guys nowadays, ARE jerks;  lower your expectations to the point where you don't even consider a date as having long-term potential, but just more a learning experience; also, try some internet dating sites, where you can potentially learn first/second date stuff about a guy without even leaving your house; if things don't improve in 3 months, let me know and WE'LL go out...az  

Answer
as with most things, the responsibility for lack of "success"  rests not only with hard to control outside forces, but also with you; your self-perception may be different than how you're viewed by guys; redefining success, as i sort of alluded to before, is another idea; i don't know enough about you specifically to give you the "dating coach" answer that you're looking for; if you want to go in that direction, let me know; as for internet dating, i don't know your specific experience, but keep in mind, a) patience--one or more non-positive outcomes doesn't mean the NEXT one won't be positive; in many ways, it's a numbers game;  b) there's LOTS of different sites; one may be a better fit for you than another; c) again, it may have more to do with YOU than  you think, but i can't evaluate that without more info..