Expert: Azure - 7/21/2004

Question
Dear Azure,

You see the problem is that he doesn't know who I am. We've just been looking at each other in the eyes during the academic year, that is all. But I thought that if he really liked me, he will guess who is writing, won't he?
For how I got his e-mail address, I feel that it will be weird if I said that I looked it up on the school directory after hearing his name called on the degree ceremony :(
And if he's shy, as I think he is, or insecure, he won't know what to reply if I ask him whether he's interested in getting to know me..I feel.

Please tell me what you think is good to do, and thanks so much again

xxMaria

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Followup To
Question -
Dear Azure,

Yes it sounds good. But do you think he will guess who I am or that he'll wonder who is writing to him? I'm so anxious. Moreover, he's going to wonder how I got his e-mail address at all and that worries me!.so should I say "I got your e-mail address because I've heard your name on the degree ceremony"? I don't think I should say that,because it sounds desperate..and I am a first year so I wasn't supposed to go to that ceremony but I went to see him one last time.

So..should I just say "hey my name is Maria. How are you? are you having a good holiday? What are your plans for the future now that you're no longer in school? Please reply if you get this. take care". Is that alright to not mention how I obtained his e-mail address?

How does it sound? I am so nervous

xxMaria.
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Followup To
Question -
Hi,

I'm a first year uni student in the UK, but I'm from France. This year I've been attracted to only one guy: I first saw him in the uni's library. Then it became the place where I would go if I wanted to see him.He was always there on thursday morning, so I would go on that day too.In my mind we both knew we would see each other's face on that day so it was like our day.. We would just sit on the computer, and make eye contact. Everytime he would see me he smiled, and looked interested. But he's never talked to me. One day, before the end of term, I saw him on a thursday in the library and said my first sentence to him"sorry would you have a pen because mine doesn't have ink anymore". He said "I haven't got one with me". And that was it. I was hoping he would talk to me afterwards. He knows I'm from another country b/c one day he sat behind me and a friend when we spoke french.I even saw him on the supermarket one day, but we didn't talk, he was with a girl, apparently a friend. He also looked a bit shy.
A week ago I've attended his degree ceremony (he's a final year so I won't see him at Uni any more). He saw me with some guy friend of mine, and I wanted my friend to go to him and say that I wanted to be his friend. But my friend thought it would be peculiar and didn't approach him.
I didn't know my crush's name, but I heard it on the degree ceremony when he collected his degree. I've then looked up his uni e-mail address on the uni student directory. Hence, I now have his e-mail address. Should I use it and say that ever since I've seen him I've wanted to be his friend? or should I restrain, for he may wonder how I did obtain his e-mail address..I really am confused. I think he really liked me, but then why didn't he talk to me once? I don't think he has a girlfriend, the only time I saw him with a girl was when he was taking pictures on the degree ceremony, she is a friend in the same course as him(marketing).

I hope to hear from you soon. I need to write to him or get him out of my system asap(though this might be impossible b/c he was always acting so sweet when he saw me) I'm getting mad!what to do?
Maria.
Answer -
write him, first explaining how and why you got his email address, and inform him of your interest...this way you'll know if this has any chance, or to forget it and move on..
Answer -
just tell him who you are, ask if he remembers you, how you got the address, and that you're writing to see if there's a chance if he'd be interested in getting to know each other better; you have to tell him how you got his email, or he'll become suspicious and ask anyway.. better if you volunteer the info..

Answer
you asked my advice, i gave it; it's not a guessing game; didn't you ask for a pen once? perhaps he'll remember, or he'll remember something else about you; but the first thing to do is, obviously, try to explain who you are; again, as to his address, who cares how weird it is if it's the truth??..telling him anything is better than him wondering what sneaky thing you might have done to get it..if he's to shy about answering if he's interested in knowing you, then this whole thing is a waste of time; let's at least hope his natural attraction to a pretty girl will lead him in the right direction.. if you don't like the advice, then just do it your own way..