Expert: Azure - 5/14/2005

Question
I want to be more  attractive. I am full figured and I don't think that I am very pretty. I just want to be   as confident  as all those people who are not slim and who are not  pretty  but who still   have people  who are attracted to them.

I am shy  and  I think   passive and clingy. I am not really the type who  want to be noticed, maybe because of my shyness.

The kind of man I am attracted to is a man who is independant,  and I think authoritative because that is the kind of men who i cling to, tall, slightly muscular or average ,  confident, handsome or not, it doesn't matter, hard worker, smart, humourous, responsible, non smoker and who drinks occasionally.


My self I am  in my 30's,   I have a bachelor in business management, so I am smart, I speak 3 languages, I am shy,  I am a little  bit too serious, I am  tender, caring, I can't cook and I can learn to cook, and  i am a little bit messy (  I am working on it)  and i  want a man in my life.

I   was with an attractive man   a decade ago, that was  my longest relationship. After  him  i met a man   with who i had a child , and when he  discovered I was pregnant,  he left. After him, my view on men completly changed and I  wasn't in a long term relationship since.  I won't say it was all my fault because unfortunatly i stayed too long with some jerks, men who didn't treat me with kindness, but  it is also true  that when  things start to go well, I panicked, maybe because I am afraid that  the same thing will happen again: i will fall in love, the guy will show me love then when i will get pregnant:  he will disappear.
Also, after I gave birth, my body changed for the worst. And I am  even more sensitive to the criticism of others. So that is also one reason  why I think  I am not attractive. I have tried mnyusculation,  a diet but ,  I am not satisfied with the results.

But  I met some women who  had worse body than mine and they do not complain, they look fulkl of life and some  of them  had a boyfriends or even some are married. I even  know  one who is a prostitute, and  who is straightforward about it, who has the worst body  but who doesn't seem to care, she is bald but  still she looks confident, while  i still want to hide .

So I want to develop an good attitude   in order to   attract  that handsome good man in my life.


So how can I do that?  

Answer
a) keep working on getting in shape; the better you look, the better you'll feel about yourself, the better the quality of guy you can meet;  b) read a book on self-esteem; c) get on some internet dating sites, and have a really good picture to use on same; d)short term counseling; e) hire me as your dating coach