Expert: Azure - 1/18/2005

Question
I come from a country in the Middle East where dating is not considered a norm, which means that if you are attracted to the guy you cannot ask him out. Marriage isn't arranged, though. If a guy likes a girl who he met in work environment or anywhere else, he could propose and she has the option to say no... I just need to tell you my societal background so you can have a full idea about my situation.
A year ago I have been on a two days training in our company's training center. I met this guy who instantly I felt attracted to, and not only that, I felt that he is going to be the one!
They say you are attracted to people who are somehow physically similar to you, which is very true in my case! He doesn't only look like me but also he smiles and laughs the same way I do!
Anyways during the training, which was about presentation skills we had lots of eye contact. I caught him stealing glances, and so did I. and when it was his turn to do his presentation he kept staring at me and talking as if no one else is there! I am a shy person and cannot establish eye contact, however I kept gazing back.. till I noticed what I'm doing and looked away in a very embarrassed way. This happened twice during his presentation which made me feel that he does have feeling for me. when it was the end of the training he just left.. no final glance no nothing! which made me feel really terrible!
Our company is really big, with branches all over the country, which means that I cannot see him often! Eight months later I saw him the second time in the same training center!! The moment our eyes met I almost fainted!! I blushed and looked down instantly which was really obvious. I cannot remember his reaction because of mine, but for the record he is a very composed person. At the end of the day I searched for the room he's in and sat on the chairs across the hall so that I can see him on his way out. I was occupying myself with a book till I noticed someone leaving and when I looked up, he was looking at me!! I had this eye brow up, wide eyes, slightly open mouth expression and immediately looked down and away... adrenaline pumping, shaking and almost fainting!! This is how much I liked him..!
Three weeks ago I decided to contact him. I study part time and I have to do a mini internship by next semester so I pretended that I need an orientation in their section because I want to evaluate sections to choose from.. his section has nothing to do with my major but I acted like I didn't know.. I had to contact him!
I sent an internal email to him, and apparently he was out of office and his assistance forgot to give him the message. Ten days later I called to follow up. When I said my name he took a pause, then said hello with an amused smile that I was able to notice on the phone. He was helpful, asked me about my major and told me that it's not really related but if I wanted to do the orientation he'll help me arrange for it. I said if you think it's not related that's ok I'll search somewhere else but he described their job and said the same line again. It made me feel like he wanted me to go there, but I didn't want to look stupid. finally he asked me to resend the email so he'll send me back some documents related to their section. I did within an hour, but when he didn't reply within 24 hours I sent him again saying sorry I'm being pushy but it's my last week of the semester and I need to decide soon. He replied back with a very formal email but with this line in the end: "In case it suits your interest we will be more than happy to arrange for your work placement according to your requirements." which made me feel that he was inviting me to come!
I got preoccupied by my finals and called him six days later, when he answered he seemed a little exhausted. He did have a pause when I said my name again but his hello was more formal and plain. I thanked him and apologized for bothering him and told him that I read your email and you were right it's not related to what I wanted. I made a point that I am embarrassed because I thought that there section is part of another department (the one that occupies their whole building) and people advised me to contact that department. He gave me a thoughtful "I see".. as if he's considering the new information and thinking of a way to help me. I was so nervous though that I said so I really thank you but it seems that I will pass on this orientation, and thank you again.. he mumbled a sort of disappointed "ok", but I cannot be sure! and that was it! nothing else happened and I didn't see him again..!
I know it has been a long, detailed story.. but I really need an analysis of the situation? does he like me too or is he just being friendly? he is well known of being friendly and helpful yet shy and reserved. he's also 30 years old and is a senior staff, which means that he's pretty mature and authourative. Did I send him the right signals? can he tell that I am interested, given that we have never exchanged a word except lately on the phone and we never met except twice! This is really torturing me, and I need to know what shall I do? wait for his move? or try to provoke him again?
Thank you in advance..

Answer
i assume that when he was advising you he KNEW you were the same person that's been catching his eye??..also, you said that in your country you can't ask a guy out--how would anyone know??...as to how he feels, neither of us would know; i doubt if he's going to ask you out, which isn't a good sign, since usually if a guy is interested, he'll figure out a way to do so; your choices are to just forget the whole thing (your imagination has already made this into MUCH to big a thing), or, since his email doesn't appear private, perhaps you could send him a letter indicating that you'd like to get to know him better, that that's the reason for asking his help, and if he's interested, a means to contact you; in any case, lower your expectations and begin returning your thoughts to the REAL world, as this is no better than a longshot..