Expert: Azure - 12/28/2004

Question
Hi! I was reading some of the others questions and decided I would ask one of my own. I'm 41 years old a single mother of a 15 and 19 year old. I've raised them both by myself. I never married. I have a very hard manual labor job that alot of men can't do. I'm buying my home and I own another home and 40 acres in Oklahoma. I have worked all my life and I'm very independent. I'm a good cook and I can change my own oil in my car. All the men that have seemed to migrate towards me are losers. I end up paying for everything and doing everything myself. My last one really ran me through the ringer. I worked 12 hour days came home made dinner, washed dishes, did the laundry, feed the dogs, feed the cats, took out the trash, raked the leaves or mowed the yard or cleaned out the pool while he sat there watching TV. I didn't get done until 12:30 at night and I had to be up again at 4:30am. Then he would want me to do all the work sexually for him when I crawled into bed. He was an alcoholic and verbally and mentally abused me. I finally threw him out only to have him constantly harrass me. I have a restraining order on him but they don't do anything to him because by the time they get here he's gone. Every one of my ex's only thought about themselves. They never bought me anything and got upset if I asked them to do something around here. One of them told me he was only renting and he didn't do work on a rented place. Another one just stole all my valuables while I was at work and the cops didn't do anything about it. Are there any good ones left and if so where are they? I have alot to offer but I need the same in return. Thanks, Kelly

Answer
it may have more to do with YOU than you think; my hunch is you're not commanding the respect from these guys, right from the beginning, that you deserve; another part is why you even BEGIN anything with these types when it's probably apparent they're like that even at the beginning; thusly, the first thing is to take stock of the image you're presenting to others and refine it as much as possible; then i suggest signing on to an internet dating service and beginning communication with eligible guys near where you live; it's a numbers game and you need patience, but it could provide a means where you potentially meet guys with more desirable qualities; don't settle for less than you deserve..