Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 5/3/2007

Question
Hello Susan --

Some of my coworkers have been trying to set me up with "Jack", one of the guys at work.  I know Jack a little as a co-worker: he is intelligent, polite, generous and generally nice to work with.  The older ladies all like him and they are convinced we would be a good match.  They've been trying to set us up for months, so he asked me out and then the whole deal went south.  

Jack was out of work for a time due to illness and a death in the family and never returned my phone call during that time -- when I called him on that at work, he was apologetic, saying he was "busy" with work and school.  For me, I just figured things had changed or maybe he felt pressured by our coworkers, so I went on with my life and even dated someone else for a short time.

Jack remains as pleasant and complimentary as ever and I'm not sure if he's shy or not ready or just not interested.  My best friend (also a coworker who knows him) says to forget it but from time to time, the others at work will insist he's a good catch and I should give him another chance.  

I feel I've given him a fair chance and I really don't want to try to "manufacture" a date and then get stuck doing all the work in a relationship.  Still, Jack is a great guy and I think we would be a good match if the interest is there.  I would appreciate your insight on this situation!

Thank you,
Jill

Answer
Hi Jill,

I would avoid this like the plague.  I am very serious.

I would also, not verbally, but non-verbally, stop the women from thinking you need help getting a date.  Your best friend is spot-on.  The others are doing something that is subtly not very nice.

Get it?

Warm regards,
Susan Dunn
www.susandunn.cc