Expert: Rhapsody Love - 5/26/2006

Question
Hi I work at a cafe and this guy comes in kind of a lot. anyways the other day he came in and he cut in front of everyone...there are three registers but only one was technically open..so anyways he came up to my register (i was on the third register) and he asked if he could just order here because he didnt want to have to wait and he noticed that i wasnt doing anything...so i said normally we dont do that but i told him it was fine and took his order...i told him he looked really familiar and he smiled...then i asked if hed been here before and he said he had. then later on when he was leaving i walked out of the cafe as if i were headed to the bathroom (though it probably was obvious) and he saw me and asked me if i got in trouble...i said no, then he said well i'll see you later, and i said see ya...so i want to know how can i make a move...i dont know if he has a girlfriend or anything but he seemed as if he were interested...

Answer
Hi Sofi,

There are several possible ways to "make a move".:

* If you have time the next time he comes in, engage in some small talk with questions about him - does he work around there? what does he do? Is he married? does he have a family? It's ok to ask such questions as part of casual conversation. If he's not married, you can talk about hobbies, sports, music, movies and such. If you get to know him better, you can suggest doing something together. Talking a lot while working might not be a good idea, though. If you can take a break to talk, that would be better.

* You could casually mention when you're getting off of work - i.e. "it's a beautiful day; I will be out of here in 2 hours so I hope to be able to enjoy it." If he's interested, he may happen to show up at that time.

* You could mention a  movie or other show - i.e. "Have you seen...? I think I'll go see it tonight." If he's interested in seeing you, he might ask if you have someone to go with.

If you use the last two suggestions and he doesn't show up, that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't interested if you don't have an actual date with him and he's made no commitment to see you. It could be he just is busy and couldn't make it or maybe he doesn't take  hints very easily. Don't give up until you're pretty sure he's not interested. If this guy doesn't work out, you'll find someone else.

Good luck!

- Joyce