Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 4/30/2007

Question
Hi,

I ran into my ex the other day (he broke up with me, but I still have a lot of feelings for him) when I was walking downtown on the sidewalk. He saw me from a distance and I saw his body give a reaction...sort of like a 'deer in headlights' type of thing. Obviously he hadn't expected to see his ex-girlfriend LOL. When we got closer, both of us just said hi and kept on walking but it seemed like his body was twitching for a second, such as it seemed like he wanted to stop and talk to me or hug me but then thought better of it.

The next day, by chance, I ran into him downtown on the street again, and this time we stopped to talk. When I reached to hug him, and right when my face got near his, he turned his head abruptly to the side.

What was with the abrupt face turn. Was he trying not to cough in my face...or was he trying not to kiss me?

Answer
Don't be mistaken, even if he did the breaking up, there were feelings.  I have broken up with guys and had second thoughts, etc., and the feelings (the good ones, and the good memories) didn't disappear overnight.  In fact years later they're still there.  Feelings, that's what he was having.  It makes our faces and bodies do things.  It doesn't mean we will act on them however.

He may have been having second thoughts, as well.  Wait and see what happens.  If he broke up with you, don't get your hopes up, and don't intiate.  Many couples break up several times before they decide to go for it (3 seems to be a magic number for this).  However, it can also be permanent.

Good luck!
Susan Dunn
www.susandunn.cc