Expert: Azure - 3/3/2004

Question
Hi. I've seen many questions concerning the same topic that I'm about to ask about...but somehow I felt the need to ask about it anyway.

I'm the hopeless dreamer type. Very few guys attract me, and ususally, it's because of personality, not looks. However, a few weeks ago I started becoming very attracted to a guy in my class. (I'm in college.)

At first, I noticed him because he was cute--but it ended there. Sometime later, I saw him in the first floor of my dorm. I kept on looking at him because I had seen him somewhere, but couldn't place him. He saw me looking and was looking back, even as I was walking past him. Even though he was with a group of friends, he said "Hey I know you...you're in my ____ class." I was surprised that he would even remember me and said, "Yeah! Hey!" and then walked quickly past him.  

Ever since that day, I've been looking at him more often in class (I see him 4 times a week). I think I'm being a little too obvious in my staring, but I can't help it! Another awkward thing is that I see him more often on campus now. We lock eyes but I can't think of anything to say.

And this is as far as my relationship with this guy has gone. It's pretty pathetic, and I thought that now that I'm in college I wouldn't be playing stupid games(?) like this. However, even though I see him a lot, there is no chance of talking to him. We sit at different assigned seats, and during lecture, I sit with my friends and he sits with his.

So, my question is this: is there ANYTHING I can do about it? It can range from trying (I don't know how) to talk to him to...anything but asking him out for a cup of coffee I guess. (Do college kids even say that?)

Also, on a sidenote: I'm a different race than him and usually hang out with people of my race. Will that affect anything?

Thank you so much for your time :)

Answer
astrid; nice name...it all depends on how assertive you want to be...your choices are to wait, perhaps endlessly, for him to make a move, or to somehow initiate contact...if you can muster up the courage, somehow arrange to get within speaking distance of him, then just say something like "hi; i've noticed you around for quite a while and was wondering if there was any way perhaps we could get to know each other a little better?..i know it's not easy, but you have to think that even the worst case of making the effort and getting rejected is better than wondering endlessly about it...i mean what do u really have to lose?..life goes on no matter what he says...as to race, who knows what his preferences are?? not your concern at this point....give it a shot or put it out of your mind...az