Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 12/29/2007

Question
men don,t like plain looking ,fat girls like me ..espeically when there older like me they want younger girls not like me.guys i know have a good experince and i have none at all.
guys are only interstd in the girls in the magazines and playboy books not sinle farmer dauther like me who can,t compete agaist the city girls its not fair fight.

even thouht i make effort i am still i am not attrected to you and still off it happen me hundreds of times.may be i wsn,t meant to have a boyfreind because it differndy seems like it.i have no success what so ever i am shy and quiet and nervous arounds guys .other girls arent i am no good guys no good just no good.at 26 years old i am already over the hill and passed my sell by date.any guy i like could,t care less about me. so that is differrenly saying something .its hust too hard. i can,t compete with younger girls nor the girls in the magazines

Answer
You need to work on your self-esteem.  Why do you feel so bad about yourself?  If you think you are fat, that is something you can do something about. If you are nervous around men, work on your social skills.  These are things under your control.  Work on yourself.  Why would you compare yourself to younger girls or girls in magazines.  That's a media ploy and a silly thing to do.  Those pictures are air-brushed and touched up.  I've worked with women models and they tell me if only women knew what they really looked like.

Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to yourself and how you would like to be, and then get to work on it.  26 is not at all too late ... there are women 60 out there looking for men, and we all have rejections and false starts.

You need to start feeling good about yourself, which no one can hand you, you have to earn it,  Like working on job and career, your apperance - for YOUR sake, not some guys.  You are letting guys be in charge of the whole deal.

All the best,
Susan