Expert: Rhapsody Love - 10/10/2006

Question
Hi there!

My name is Gretchen.  I am a 21 year old college student.  I have spent those entire 21 years devoted to nothing but education.  Not by force, but by choice.  I have had a couple of random boys pass through, but nothing serious...EVER.  I have always thought the time would come when I would just magically decide that I was ready to find and keep a boyfriend.  I am not big on the bar scene like most of my peers, partly because I am initially very shy with new people.  So, here I am, a senior in college, fixing to start law school in the fall...and I am ready.  At least to find someone and start actually trying to find the one.  BUT, remember, I have spent the better part of my life honing my educational skills, not my love life.  I guess to get right to the question....I have no idea where to even look!  I am in college, the prime time in my life to meet someone, but I am not interested in a drunken frat boy at the bar.  I want someone that might be worth spending time with!  Any advice for me?

Answer
Hi Gretchen,

To figure out where you can find your ideal mate, first you need to figure out what qualities you're looking for. To do that, it can help to get to know yourself better first and what types of personalities might be compatible with yours.  Three resources for that would be:

http://www.keirsey.com/

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

where you can take tests to find out about yourself and get information on
personality types to learn who would make a good match for you.

And I also like Linda Goodman's "Love Signs;":

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&as_qdr=all&q=%22Linda+Goodm...

though I am skeptical about astrology, I find this is surprisingly realistic (it certainly couldn't hurt to check it out). BTW, this is a Google search link because the links I've chosen in the past have disappeared - sorry it's so long. Here's a shorter one:

http://tinyurl.com/r2o0

Once you know yourself better and know what kind of mate would be good for you and have thought about other qualities that you would want, you can
better figure out where to find such a person.  Where might this person be, work, go for recreation?  Would this person attend a church or other religious organization and if so, what kind (conservative, liberal - or you might try Unitarian Universalist where people of many faiths worship together)? Also, if you're in a city or metropolitan area, there might be Meet-ups near you - find an area that interests you and sign up for a Meet-up which takes place with at least 4 other people in a public place:

http://www.meetup.com/

Would that person be looking for you on the internet?  If so, check out

http://dmoz.org/Society/Relationships/Dating/Personals/

- there are loads of places to go on the internet where you can get a
profile and even search by location as well as interest.  You can get to
know the person anonymously first; read

http://www.ou.edu/oupd/kidsafe/websafe.htm

and

http://www.sanfords.net/Mom_Dear/Dating_on_the_Internet.shtml

before trying this out.

Good luck!

- Joyce