Expert: Rhapsody Love - 1/26/2007

Question
hi i just moved from florida to massachettes and there is a guy down the road that i am totally  falling for he smart, sweet and  loving , but the only thins is that i recently found out that he is famous..  but he lives a normal life and doesn't do taht kind of work any longer i heard, so i was wondering how would i be able to get him to notice me. ? any help would be greatful

allison

Answer
Allison,

It doesn't matter if he was famous. He probably wants to be liked for who he is and not for the fame he once had. Since you know him and have seen him and it sounds like maybe you've even talked to him since you said he's "smart, sweet and loving." Hopefully you can talk to him again in the same context you talked to him before or you can kind of make it more possible by walking by his house a couple times each day (exercise?). Make your goal to make friends with him & hopefully his interest in you will grow. This is what I suggest:

When you see him, just have friendly conversation.  You can start by talking about something you already know about him from your own experience with him (not from what you've heard about him, but music you've heard him listen to or something you've overheard him talking about or his yard) or you can ask him about a resource in the community you're looking for that he might know about (auto repair?) since he's been living there longer than you.  If those ideas don't work, you could start by talking about something in the news that you heard that morning and ask his opinion about it.   You can eventually move the conversation to likes and dislikes (movies, food, music, sports, hobbies, etc.) and if he mentions he likes to do something that you also like, you could ask him if he'd like to go to that with you.  If you keep up on the latest movies, sports events, concerts, etc., then you could suggest a specific one and possibly say you were planning to go any way, so it doesn't look like you're asking him on a "date."

If it seems right to talk about what he used to do (you don't want to purposely avoid talking about it since it would seem very fake; just don't make it sound like that's why you want to talk to him), then ask him questions about it. Why did he quit? What does he like better about what he does now? Go with the flow, trying to see if he feels comfortable talking about it or not & don't pursue a line of conversation that seems to be uncomfortable to him. Don't over-talk all at one time, but hopefully you can have several conversations with him and then you'll grow on him.

Good luck!

- Joyce