Expert: Azure - 2/22/2005

Question
i am a very attractive 37 year old who had been seeing a younger guy(27) for 9 months every weekend.i loved getting dressed up for him and feeling sexy.it was what i had always wanted to feel in a relationship. the excitement! after a while of course it became more "normal" and this guy said he was'nt feeling this need to see me as much as he had in the begining. i think he got scared off at the point where the relationship was just going into a new phase.i think he found it stressy,claustraphobic. we get on really well and laugh alot. we are both "loners" in a way.he always said he did'nt want to be in a relationship and yet i know we where in one. i know he is not seeing someone else.i went away for a couple of weeks,after our breakup, and when i got back i felt i desperately wanted to see him again. i was not prepared to let this one rest! since then we have met each other for sex one night every weekend and it has never been so intense and so thrilling.i have even phoned him and taken things under control by saying i want to see him and have sex with him.(i think he likes that).i trust my instincts.i am in love with this guy for many reasons, one being his honesty.he has said he does'nt want a relationship and yet i know how much he loves having sex with me and likewise for myself too.i don't like men smothering me.

my question is,can i get it back to the way it was,that is that we saw each other every weekend?
i enjoy seeing him only on weekends.but obviously the word relationship scares him?

what do you think
thankyou

Answer
sure; you can tell him he sees you all weekend or he doesn't see you at all, but i doubt it'll work; his only interest in you is sexual; once the need is fulfilled, he's gone until the next time, and need; so in his mind, i don't think the sex will be worth having to put  in the whole weekend to get it; this is nothing more than a too convenient sexual arrangement;if you want something more from a relationship, stop settling for so much less than you deserve, inform him he either sees you ALL weekend, doing all kinds of things together besides sex, or it's over, but be prepared to end it if he doesn't comply..