Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 12/10/2007

Question
QUESTION: dear sir
i was woundering how do i get guys to take me seiously and be intersted in me.i am always getting reject.some i get the feeling they take 16 years olds more seriously then me.
some how older me take me more serious then guys my own age.i am 26 years old. they offer teared 16 years old who are younger tall and pettier then more respect and affection then they do me. how is this .that they treated a 16 year ol with more respect guys then some one my age.
do you think i should start rejection guys like they have done to me for no reason.just reject for no reason.may be i should let them know what it feels like if they have heard to fell pain beside young girl booasting they over size ego.
that is just not fair.

hope to hear from you soon.

ANSWER: Hello yet again Louise!

You've actually already asked me this question about a thousand times and I've answered it just as many times: you have to work on yourself to become worthy of being taken seriously. You don't take yourself seriously enough and thus, the guys you meet are simply reflecting back what you're giving them. That's it in a nutshell.

How do you figure that rejecting guys is going to make them want you? Here's something you need to understand: men don't want to be rejected any more than you do. There's this stupid belief among women that rejecting guys, playing hard to get, etc., makes guys more interested. I'm here to set you (and any other girl reading this) straight on this point: playing hard to get will make lonely, not popular. No guy wants to work that hard - trust me - I talk to them every single day!

Think about this: look around at the girls you know that are good with guys; not just one guy - but most guys. They almost become one of the guys. They make themselves available. They become interested in what they guys are interested in and in the guys themselves. They "sell what their customers are buying"; and guess what? The guys actually buy!

I can't make it any more simple than that Louise.

You need to do two things:

1) STOP blaming the guys and START taking some personal responsibility for your success.
2) START becoming the woman of these guy's dreams.

When you're selling what they're buying, you'll have everything you want. Until you do that, you'll have what you have now - nothing but bitterness, self-pitty and blame.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: i am very that i never got my 1st  kiss at 18 years old and others have all but me.now i am 26 yaers old i feel a million worse then ever .there girl younger then me have more experence then me.i can,t stop thnking about the guy who hurt me.a guy wouldn,t to know any thing girls but it seem he does.it hurts so much that he went off with some one right in front of my eyes and he didn,t care if i was there or not and told me go away.i am very shy and quiet not loud and flirty like other girls ,i ahve being hurted and rejected in the most rotten way

Answer
Hey Louise!

You want me to do therapy with you via these messages and I can't do that. Go find someone there local that can help you. I can only answer specific questions, and frankly, I've already done that - and have been ignored.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"