Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 12/18/2006

Question
I am a senior at my local high school and I'm not exactly the most popular but i do have alot of friends and everyone talks to me im not known to have alot of boyfriends primarily based on the fact that i love being single. Well for the first time in two years since my last long rel;ationship i kinda am atrracted to a guy in my grade he is the best. We hung out once or twice but now ot seems he doesnt want anything to do with me since i had SEX with him i dont regret it but he doesnt even talok to me anymore i get an occasional hey evry now and then. How do i get him to talk to me and notice me again? i want him to want to be around me like he did earlier in the stage of us hanging out HELP!!!I like him so much what do i do?

Answer
Dear Amanda,

I'm sorry to tell you this, but this is going to be a learning experience for you, and a sad one.  It's a lesson many women have to learn the hard way.  The smart women catch on the first time.  I hope you will because we have a CLASSIC example here of what happens when you have sex with a guy too soon.

He got what he wanted (you did not), and now he's on to other things. If he wanted more in the first place, the sex short-circuited any feelings he might have had.  That's how men work.  

I don't know of any way to undo it or recover from it, and I have 60 year old female clients making the same mistake, so don't feel so bad, just as long as you learn from it.

Have sex too soon with a guy and this is the classic example of what happens.  You get a "hey" every now and then, like you don't exist.  If this is not what you want, play it different next time.  Don't give the cow away with the milk, so to speak.

Warm regards,
Susan Dunn
www.susandunn.cc