Expert: Azure - 9/15/2004

Question
I met this guy online with the intention of just being a casual relationship. Two weeks into it, I started to realize that I really liked him, more then I expected on the outset. He insisted that I was one of those people that love will just jump up and bite me.

Anyway, I kept in touch, and he called me, but I didn't know his last name or his phone number, which sent up Red Sirens immediately, but I just wanted to be casual, and as long as he wasn't married, I was up for anything. I wanted to meet at this point, before making any decisions.

So we were talking one night and he said he might want more. He was reexamining things and I was more then he expected. I reciprocated with the same. Then the phone went dead. I haven't heard from him since.

A day later I got a feeling that my attitude taowards love might have scared him, so I sent him a very intimate poem I wrote a year ago that explained why I didn't have an appreciation for it and why I wanted to go slow.

The next day, he still hadn't called so my mother suggested that I write another email and explain that I felt disrespected by him not calling back after hanging up or telling me everything is okay. I don't play games and don't like them. I would like an explanation about why he hung up so abruptly.

Now, I realize that something happened, and I am blaming myself , but I don't know where I went wrong, because everyone tells me something different. Was the poem too much too fast? Was the email too demanding, pushy or just direct?
I don't want to keep making mistakes early into dating someone, can you tell me what I may have done wrong, if anything? Thank you for any advice you can offer.

Linda

Answer
you did nothing wrong; you just miscalculated the potential pitfalls of internet romance; i don't care who the person is, what you talk about, or how you feel; to put ANY expectation on 2 weeks of chatter, before ever meeting, is foolhearty; guys in general, and ESPECIALLY those you know from your computer, are notorious for disappearing; there's always a reason, but a) you'll prob never know it, and b), who cares, as the result is the same;  just consider it HIS loss, learn from the experience about online drawbacks, don't let emotions get involved unless/until you can actually start seeing someone in REAL life, forget the whole thing, stop second-guessing yourself, and move on..