Expert: Tracey Steinberg - 12/22/2007

Question
hi tracey
the reason why i want to give up wanting a boyfreind because any guy i have like over 10 years has rejected .it make me sad to give up wanting a boyfreind.
but i want what i can not have .other find love so easy but its impossible any guy i like pretty much rejected and didn,t want to know to me. i am 26 years old with no hope of ever getting a boyfreind it just far too hard.
guys will ask what ever girl they want.and it doesn,t matteer if i like  him or not it won,t make any difference.

it guys who decide and i have no say ,its a man world .the likes of me has no chance .no matter how nice looking i make my self it doesn,t matter. it they say it what counts and not mine.

Answer
Louise Kelly,

I hear the pain in your letter.  My first question to you is, are you open to a different way of thinking? Without knowing much about you, I can tell you that I believe you can find a man who you can love and who will love you back.  BUT, without believing in the possibility, I think your chances may be small.

Assuming you are open to the possibility, I would like you to take some time and figure out what is important to you in a man, regardless of how they feel about you.  I am literally asking you to think about if you want Brad Pitt's looks, Bono's philanthropy, and Will Smith's Charm.  After you spend some time thinking of your ideal, I am going to ask you to prioritize the characteristics in order what is most important to you.

The next step you may want to take is to take a good long look at yourself and see what you are happy with and if there is anything about you that you want to change.  Do you like the way you dress? Do you like your hairstyle? Do you like the way you interact with men? Do you like your attitude towards men? etc...

After you have taken those steps, you can focus your valuable attention only on the men who you are truly interested all the while feeling great about yourself and knowing that you are the woman you are meant to be.

This can be a very exciting and fun process and I hope you will enjoy it :-)

enjoy your adventure, Life Coach Tracey