Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 12/14/2007

Question
Hello Dr. Neder,

I have 3 questions!

----------
question one:

I recently have become romantically attracted to a guitarist and singer in a famous rock band. (Yes he is famous and yes you know the band, so I am not giving any names out.) He is 39 years old and I am 27. I do not think he has ever been married, but he is gorgeous and looks like a model on top of his amazing musical talent, so millions of women are attracted to him.

From what I have seen, he is not much into the groupie thing, I think he wants a girlfriend. I dont know about marriage though...but he doesnt really seem interested in having sex with a bunch of different women. Well you never know.

Is it smart for me not to pursue a man such as this? Who gets attention from all the ladies. Or should I not become romantically involved with this type of man, and go for a guy who is less pursued by women so I am more special to him?

-----

question 2: what is a good way to ensure that a guy is taking you seriously and not just become another booty call to him?

-------

question 3: how did you go from a PhD in a different field to becoming a dating expert? kind of a jump there

thank you --

Answer
Hello!

I have 3 answers! Sure hope their to your questions!

----------

1) This is a difficult question to answer when I don't know what the guy is looking for. I'm a musician too and I've played with many well-known players and been on the road and I can tell you that at least some of the musician "mystique" is just that: mystique. These are guys just like any other. Many of them are just looking for a great girl to love that loves them not for what they do, but who they are.

The real problem here is that you obviously don't even know that much about him yet you're interested in him. The question in his mind is going to be, "interested in what?" That simply makes you one of the groupies, not a real relationship choice.

So, to answer your question: should you pursue him? I'd say no, you shouldn't. Unless you have some compelling reason to be more than just a sex partner to him (which from what you've told me, you don't) then he's not going to see you any more deeply than you see him.

2) Far too big a question for this message board, but I'll summarize it this way: be everything he wants AND be able to express that fact to him in his own language. Since you don't know him very well you can't possibly know what he wants, let alone understand how he needs to hear it from you.

3) Big jump. I actually have 2 doctorates; and also do many different things unrelated to being a dating/sex/relationship expert. I've already mentioned that I'm a musician, I'm a politician, an entreprenuer, etc. and have turned all of these experiences into different elements that make up the whole. It's all part of my evil plan to dominate the minds of young, impressionable people and through that, take over the world. Is that too much to ask???

I hope that answers your questions!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"