Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 11/8/2007

Question
Dear Dennis,

My husband whom I adored left me for another woman after he got her pregnant not too long ago and ever since then I've been really depressed. In fact I have cried so much in the last year that one of my corneas is permanently damaged and I have to take eye drops every day that cost $250 a bottle.

I am sick of crying into the toilet bowl every day. I want to meet someone else and move forward because I am seriously going crazy.

But the problem is that touching another man is almost repulsive to me right now. (i'm not gay...just he was really special to me) the thought of bedding another man touching me almost makes me want to puke right now.

Should I see a psychiatrist? i am very sad and very lonely. i want to meet another man and refresh my life but i haven't met any men i really like. all the dates ive been on have been disasters.

Am I just going through a dry spell? should i keep meeting men? is it possible i just havent found the right one yet.

this divorce and sudden shock of him leaving what seemed like a happy marriage was too much.

Answer
Hello Robin!

Yes, you should definitely see a professional right away. This sort of deep, foundational malaise and sadness is indicative that you aren't coping with the loss. Until you get a grip on it, no man or date is going to work for you.

Please get some help right away. If you're in the Los Angeles area, let me know and I'll refer you to someone I trust that is really great with this sort of thing. Otherwise, check with your state licensing board for a referral.

Either way, don't wait - get some help right now.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"