Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 9/23/2007

Question
Hiya. I could use some advice.
I like a guy at work who is involved with someone and has two little kids. We have been working together for a few months and I am absolutely falling for him. He is smart and funny and cute and thinks I'm really smart and funny and cute too...or so I think. He's always saying these really great things about me...and he treats me in a way that he doesn't treat other people. My manager (i work in a restaurant) has also said that he has noticed a definite chemistry between the two of us. I have heard through other people (he doesn't talk to me about his relationship...has only said that his gf gets mad at him a lot), that he is unhappy but afraid that if he leaves he won't be able to see his kids.

I respect the fact that he has a gf and I won't try anything on him, ever. But, is it realistic to want to carry on with our friendship, to try to win him over or whatever, in this situation? I don't want to be a homewrecker, but I haven't met someone in YEARS who has made me feel the way he does. I think we connect on so many levels and I honestly feel that we have something building here which both excites and scares me. It just doesn't seem fair.

Answer
Dear Daisy,
Well I can understand how you feel.  I'm not clear here, whose children are the 2 little kids.
At any rate, I agree it's not a good idea to be a "homewrecker."  It becomes "fruit from a poisoned tree."  In other words, if he'd cheat on her, he'd cheat on you later on.  You can only wait and see and hold on to your heart.  He needs to complete the relationship with the other woman and make a clean break.  That's what I'd recommend.  Otherwise, hands off.  

Warm regards,
Susan Dunn
www.susandunn.cc