Expert: Rhapsody Love - 7/16/2006

Question
Hey, I've been talking to this guy or watever for awhile just as friends though. we talk everynight and we havent met yet i mean i kno hes real my friends know him but like he never wants to come and see me i mean i never really ask anymore cuz it was always i dont gota car or just come to my job i mean he does show that he likes me as a potental girl friend but wenever i ask him something like would u ever go out with me he always leaves me guessing today i asked him and he said idk prolly like that isnt the answer i was looking 4 i cant stop thinking about him.. and i jsut want him to be the man of my dreams which he already is just i need him to be my man..i mean theres alot more to the story i jsut dont want to waste your time if u need to kno more to see wat i should do please ask me and i would be happy to tell u more thanks 4 ur help* srry if i miss-spelled words*
Thank-you so much
Sincerly, Sarah

Answer
Sarah,

When you can have a friendly conversation, which it sounds like you're able to do quite often, you can start by talking about something you already know about him (music he listens to, something you've overheard him talking about) or you can talk about the place where you first saw him asking how long he's been coming there, how did he find it or why did he start coming.  If those ideas don't work for this situation, you could start by talking about something in the news that you heard that morning and ask his opinion about it.   You can eventually move the conversation to likes and dislikes (movies, food, music, sports, hobbies, etc.) and if he mentions he likes to do something that you also like, you could ask him if he'd like to go to that with you.  If you keep up on the latest movies, sports events, concerts, etc., then you could suggest a specific one and possibly say you were planning to go any way, so it doesn't look like you're asking him on a "date."

It sounds like transportation to go to something could be an issue for you, so you might want to think about how you could solve that problem ahead of time (e.g. ask a friend or relative who has a car if you could double date if you could get this guy to go out with you).

If that doesn't work, maybe he doesn't like girls who are forward. Sometimes you need to play hard to get. Don't act like you're really interested in him. Say hi if you know that he notices that you saw him or if he says hi first, but otherwise you can look like you don't notice him. Don't hang around too long and when you are around him with other people, show interest in other people - maybe another guy if one is around. Since you see him every night, maybe if you don't see him for a week or so, he'll miss you and wonder where you are.  If these things don't work, it's possible that he's not really the guy for you, but give it some time first.

Good luck!

- Joyce