Expert: Azure - 4/16/2003

Question
I'll try to make a long story short - back in November I met a friend of my cousin's at a bar.  We started talking and I found I was attracted to him and we also had a lot in common.  Through my Aunt who know this man well and my cousin - they gave him my number and he said he was interested.  He called and we met a couple of time for more conversation and it seemed he was interested.  We were supposed to go out on a date one night and he called and cancelled at the last minute - something had come up and he apologized - he said he would call to reschedule - which he never did - this was right before Christmas.  I ran into him a couple weeks after New Years and he was talking with another one of my Aunt's so I talked with her and then finally to him - My Aunt had remarked later about how much we had in common and asked if I'd be interested in dating him - I said unfortunately, I don't think he's interested.  At the end of the night he came up and gave me a great big hug.  Since then - I've ran into him another time - more great conversation - another hug at the end of the night and I'm assuming we are friends.  This last Saturday I went to my cousin's birthday party and he was there with his brother - I sat down at a table with my cousin and the two of them.  We all talked and joked and then it was just the two of us - having our usual conversation about everything and getting along.  He offered to keep his shop open late this week so I could get my oil changed prior to a long road trip - then all of a sudden his brother wanted to leave - they had come together - he apologized tried to talk his brother into staying - apologized to me again and then he kissed me - told me to call him and left.  I am so totally baffled by this and maybe it's my desire to have a relationship that is clouding my judgement.  I'm supposed to take my car in tonight and just am confused if he is interested in more than being friends.  We are both adults and I feel like a kid in High School - what is up?

Thank you.

Answer
with guys, don't waste your time trying to deeply analyze their behavior or try to figure out their motivations or feelings..what counts is their actual behavior, regardless of the above...in my opinion, the guy might have a casual interest, perhaps sexual, but there doesn't seem to be a need for him to want to be with you, or else you'd know about it...quite possibly there's one or more than one woman involved...i'd remain pretty aloof in this matter; when u see him, tell him you don't make a habit of calling guys, and if he'd like to call YOU sometime, fine...before any of that, i'd probably also ask why he never  called to reschedule that date...you've nothing to lose by asking, and depending on his answer, you can decide if he's worth giving your number to again...don't let your desire to have a relationship lead to to accepting less than the respect and consideration you deserve....az