Expert: Susan Dunn, Dating Coach - 11/21/2007

Question
Hey Susan, im hoping you can help me with this. Im 19 years old and just came out of a 4 year relationship. Im in my first year of college, and i met a really cute kid in one of my classes. We'll just call him Bob. He had been flirting with me since the first week of school about 3 months ago. Finally he asked for my number and we started hanging out and going out to dinner. After about 2 weeks of this we started having sex. He said he wanted a relationship and was a really nice guy, he never blew me off, surprised me with stuffed animals, always called me when he said he would, etc. Anyways one night we got into a huge arguement. I was supposed to spend the night at his dorm, and when i got there he wasnt there. I was really upset and started yelling at him on the phone accusing him of using me for sex and being an total ***hole. Turns out he left me a voicemail telling me to come at a later time and i never got the message until after i had already flipped out on him. I have issues trusting people, since my last relationship was a total disaster towards the end. I apoligized for taking this out on him, he said it was ok but seems like he doesnt want a relatinship now. We barely hang out anymore, but he stills flirts ALOT with me when i do see him. He sends me text messages saying "you looked really good today" and stuff like that. he winks at me everytime i walk by him. and he is still a sweetheart to me but doesnt really call me or ask to make plans. I think i scared him off by seeming kind of crazy that night. I didnt mean to. so i guess my question is how can i approach him about this and talk it out? i know he still wants me because he makes it VERY obvious. I want to prove to him that im not really psycho and i can handle a relationship because i did it for 4 years. how can i attract him to me again and make him want to spend time with me? any advice im sure will help, thanks!

Answer
Dear Rachel,

Why don't you have a talk with him one of those times when you see him.  Everyone deserves a second chance, and maybe you learned from that one.  Choose a good time and just talk from your heart.

All the best,
Susan Dunn
www.susandunn.cc
sdunn@susandunn.cc