Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 1/28/2008

Question
I am not sure what to do.  Let me explain the situation (please bear with my long post).

Last December (of 2006), I was away at school and was talking to my sister Victoria on the phone.  She was in my hometown and had a part time job.  She asked me if I had gone to high school with a person that had a specific last name.  I said I had, said the girl’s name, and asked why.  She told me that the girl I mentioned going to school with was the younger sister of her boss Chrissy.  When my sister started working at that job, Chrissy had remarked that my Victoria’s last name was familiar.  Chrissy then asked if she had a brother.  My sister said yes and told her boss my name.  Her boss then said that that was the reason she recognized our last name.  Chrissy’s younger sister Kaitlyn (the one I went to high school with) had apparently talked about me constantly, and seemed to have a thing for me.  

Anyway, this was quite interesting for me to hear.  I had always found this girl very attractive (and recall one time working with her when I got distinct vibes that she was attracted to me).

When I had come back for winter break, I expressed to my sister that I was interested in this girl.  It seemed that this girl would be working during winter break at this same place as Victoria.  So I asked her to keep a heads up to find out when this girl would be there.  My sister told Chrissy that I asked about Kaitlyn and about when she’d return from her own school for winter break.  Unfortunately, however, Kaitlyn wasn’t going to work at this place and my plans to come in to see her were screwed up, so nothing transpired.

My current situation is that I have transferred out of my previous school (I hated it there) and am actually now going to the same university as Kaitlyn (she wasn’t the reason I transferred to that school, it just so happened that she goes there).  I was hoping I’d run into her, but I just started my second semester there and as it is a fairly larger university, I haven’t seen her.

Further, since I am also now working part time at this same place my sister had worked (I commute to school now), I’ve had contact with Kaitlyn’s sister Chrissy. My own sister recently said I should ask Chrissy for Kaitlyn’s phone number and set up a lunch date or something.  However, Chrissy was transferred out by the company to manage another store (and so now I don’t see Chrissy anymore).

However, I still can’t stop thinking about Kaitlyn.  I have actually looked her up on myspace and facebook and found her there and thought about sending a message to her to see if she’s interested in meeting up.  (My school also distributed campus phone books which has Kaitlyn’s phone number in it too, so I also thought about calling her.)

The issue is this:  I’m wondering if I did contact her (be it an online message or using that phone book to call her), if that would seem creepy.  Maybe I’m looking at it weird, but I can see how some might see it as creepy since it’s been so long since we’ve had any contact (we graduated high school in June of 2005) and also the method of contacting her (searching for her on facebook and that phone book, although it wasn’t hard to do or very involved).

I don’t know.  What do you think?  Is it creepy?  Should I attempt to contact Kaitlyn, or should I put it behind me?  I need some objective advice.




And BTW, what do girls say when they talk about guys?  (I’m wondering about the kinds of things Kaitlyn may have said to Chrissy about me, especially since Kaitlyn and I didn’t talk or anything in high school, though our lockers were right next to each other and we had had one class together.)  


I really appreciate your time and help.  Thank you.  

Answer
Hello Steve!

You're way over-thinking all of this. You have her phone number, you have context up the ass (your sister working for Chrissy, going to high school together, going to college together, etc., etc., etc.) What in the hell is so "creepy" about checking in with her to catch up?

You have her number and a ligitimate excuse to contact her - so do it already! Stop over-thinking everything!

Obviously, I can't know what these girls have talked about, but it generally isn't of much concern to you. They're not talking about how you two will look on the top of a wedding cake or anything.

GO CALL HER ALREADY!!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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