Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/20/2008

Question
Hello Dr. Neder,
I've been reading some of the questions lately and i've found your advice very credible and interesting. My girlfriend ( of almost 2 weeks) has complete control of our relationship. In fact, i've never been in control. I text her, i call her, i ask her to go places, i make the moves, etc. I for once want to feel like i'm wanted by her and i can't get these feelings out of her. She's playing hard to get and i've told her that she doesn't need to and its frustrating me and quite frankly its annoying. She has told me that shes "testing me". This confuses me and i would like to here your solution to my dilemma, i really like this girl, and and very interested in this "test". I basically just want to turn the tables on her and be in control of the relationship. If it's even possible!

Answer
Hello Latham!

Wait a minute. You call her, you set the dates and you think you're not "in control"? It sounds entirely like it's your game!

Further, it's only been 2 weeks! What do you expect in 2 weeks? She's not just going to swoon all over you because you've gone out on a few dates.

I sense that you may be pushing things far too hard here. Laying back is a great technique to begin drawing her toward you. Let me give you an example:

Let's say that you want to feed a squirrel from your hand. If you put the food in it and walk toward the squirrel, it's bolt. On the other hand, if you put food in your hand, set it on the ground and just stay there, eventually the little critter will come up and take it from you.

That's how you want your dating to work as well.

Don't try to dominate her time either. This is another mistake guys make. They think that by taking up all her free time that nobody else will be able to get in the way. Instead what this does is to prevent her from using her own powerful feminine mind to build you up and to miss you. If she never misses you, she'll never build you up.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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