Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/1/2008

Question
I am a girl and went out on a date with another girl.  We had a great time and she said to call her again and I did. We spent the week texting each other and she even told one of our friends that she had a good time with me. sh even told me we should go out again.   I called her and asked her out again and told her how much I liked her and that if there was not chemistry to let me know and I would leave her alone.  I haven't heard back from her.  I sent her an email apoligizing for being too pushy and that I liked her and only wanted a caring friendship from her.  She still hasn't answered me back and I asked ouur mutual friend about it and she didn't say anything about it.  What's happening wit her? I thought she really liked med

Answer
Hello Melina!

It's entirely possible she did - and does - like you. This is actually pretty common with women. She was so excited originally and had such great chemistry with you and now she's throwing you want call the "Pre-Test".

She wants to see just how hard you'll work chasing her. The problem is that if you DO chase her, you'll also lose value in her eyes. After all, why would someone terrific have to work so hard?

You see the problem here?

She might actually be afraid of her own enthusiasm and/or she might be trying to find out yours. Either way, you're going to have to back off a little and let her come to you.

What I suggest is this: you've already sent her an email apologizing. Let it stand for a week to a two weeks - the longer the better. She may respond before that time and you can comment on how surprised you are that she'd be this rude!

If you don't hear from her simply say, "Sorry we didn't get together, I thought we had real chemistry. Best of luck to you."

Obviously, this last email is designed to get her to react. If she's interested, she'll have to do something by this time. If she's not, you'll have to accept it and move on.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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