Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 11/6/2008

Question
Hello Dr. Neder,
Like others, I would like to thank you in advance for taking the time you will to answer my question, and give advice.
As expected, my dilemma involves a woman I like very much. We met at work and happen to have alot in common. One random night while business was slow, we got to talk alot more than usual and I had enough confidence to ask her out. She accepted, but due to her busy lifestyle having multiple jobs(shes a workaholic), we could only go out for a few hours for lunch.
We had our little date, had a great time, and all was well. Since then though, every time I ask her out for another lunch or maybe dinner, she tells me she has a very busy week ahead of her and would have to wait and see next week.
As I have said before, she truly does work a whole lot, but I almost feel like its her way of being nice and saying she isn't interested. Mind you, I have also had some really bad let downs over the past 6 years in regards to women and my self esteem tends to get low when dealing with the opposite sex. But I really cant tell in this situation if I should risk coming on strong and asking how she feels about me, or if I should be patient and see if things pan out when/if her work schedule slows down? Also, how can I tell in general if she likes me, or is just being nice?

Answer
Hello Malachai!

I'm afraid she's trying to let you down without actually coming out and saying it.

Here's the reality: nobody has time in their lives for everything but EVERYONE has time for what's important. If she can't find time in her schedule, it's because she doesn't WANT to find it.

You might try this: instead of trying to hold dates at work, tell her that if she wants to talk to you, she needs to clear up her schedule outside of work. Then, let it be. If she won't, you have your answer.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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