Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 11/15/2008

Question
Hi Neder,
There is a girl whom i like, she is lively, fun lovin, havin mind like a kid many times and conservative(not openly involved with any1). BUT like guys very much. We are in same office, started chattin online then on phone(off. n Res.) kind of "chat/SMS/phone friends", hardly meet in office personally. As in starting we both used to ignore each other publically.
Whenever we meet both get conscious/uncomfortable, as both are shy kind of. Problem is i think she like some1 else OR she is a flirt like many guys sametime, who ever gets her first she starts enjoyin his company. Like 1 guy in BUS, 1 in her CUBICAL, 1 in PHONE/CHAT/SMS(like me) although many more but not like we 3.
Among we 3, only im not in touch with her personally. They 2 actually are good at caring, makin her feel good n laugh, i care well but losin on other things i guess.
I tried talkin personally to her couple of times in office cafe without gettin conscious, at the time when we were not in touch for some days online/phone, but she some what ignored me  and lookin for other people around.WHY ??.Now i stopped all comunications except 'Hi' as i dont want to lose my self respect.
Earlier when i used 2 talk on off. phone, everything seemed good but the moment my seat comes next to her cubical, we stop talkin on off. phone and now we rarely talk.
What iam thinkin is she is not missin me much as she hav other friends to talk 2 and maybe thinkin of me as to keep me as friend not to level of boyFriend which she is avoidin with every1.
I actually somewhat directly showed that i like her and intrested in her which might be the reason she is avoiding me personally, but these 2 guys nevr showed tht iguess i know them.But they also intrested in her.
She often take their names, go their seats n i feel like hell.
My personality in front of her: Tall, Fair, Handsome, gettin angry fast, aloof, not social only to couple of friends includin her and arrogant(which maybe as am not social) and a dreamer.
What should i do man. Please Help me out. i want to feel the attarction from her side. I want to hear from her that she likes me atleast indirectly. I want to make her feel special personally. 1 on 1.

Answer
Hello Amit!

This almost sounds like you've been doing the phone thing so long that she has finally lost interest in you. You've got to get off the phone and into real life if you ever want anything to happen here.

I suggest you to go to her one late morning and suggest you and she have lunch together. Then, talk like real people, not people that have this ridiculous electronic filter between you. Unless you can bring this into real life, you have absolutely nothing to work with.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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