Expert: Alex Strandberg - 11/15/2008

Question
Hello Sir,Madam

i am really sorry i can't put my real name due to personal reasons i am really sorry for that.. so u can call me as s0rdfish.

so here is my question

i am in a place were nobody should be there i pray for that not even my enemies should be there, because i am in love with a girl who is studying with me in my class but she as a boy friend already. when i saw her for the 1st time i fall in love with her but i don't no how to tell her that i seriously love her TRUST ME I CAN'T Leave without her.. and she as become a very good friend of mine and we go out for coffee dinner movies etc that's it i call her & message her too.
 
and my question is that how to tell her that i love her from my heart and if she does not like my proposal i don't want to loose her friend ship too

so please help me this  
 
Thanks and Regards
s0rdfish


Answer
Hey s0rdfish,

No worries about using a real name or not, I understand.

Here's my advice: leave the girl alone. Going after a taken girl lacks integrity and honesty. It lacks those qualities that help create attraction between you and the girl.

If she does go for you it says that she lacks those qualities as well. In the movies the guy confesses his love to a girl and she chooses him. Then they live happily ever after.

In real life if a girl leaves one man for another or cheats it is only a matter of time before she does it again. There is no happily ever after because she will always look for the bigger, better deal. A thief steals, a liar lies and a cheater cheats.  

I know she is that way because she spends so much time with a guy that is obviously in love with her. No woman out there is that completely un-aware that she can't pick up on your infatuation with her. She knows this and still continues to hang out with you. She uses you for validation and attention even though she is in a relationship.

To get a better understanding of what is going on here, read this:

http://innergamereframe.com/dealing-with-her-male-friends/

I'm gonna be rough on you but you need it. You aren't much of a friend to her. You have no respect for her or for her relationship.

My strong suggestion would be to cut ties with the girl completely. If you tell her that you love her she might still keep you around. Then you will always wonder if she wants your friendship for validation/attention or because she likes you as a friend?

Your "love" for her won't go away until you put some distance between you and her. If you are meant to be together you will see her again when she is SINGLE.

You say that you can't live with out her but you have been living all these years before you met her perfectly fine. So you can live without her.

I suggest getting your neediness handled before that happens. If you do get a chance with her it will be short lived because you are needy. Neediness drives women away faster than announcing you have multiple STD's.

Alex