Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 11/24/2008

Question
i have a big problem i cant seem to have a decent relationship with women i mean the first lady i ever liked she was so amazing that i really really was in to her , i felt it as if i owned the world , everything was going very smoothly and beautifully, but one day she calls me and tells me that we cant go on anymore and unitl this day she wouldnt give me a reason ??? the secound relationship she came to me and told me that she likes and actually love me at first sight and everything was amazing even better thatn the first relationship all of the sudden one day she stopped calling and i couldnt find a reason its like she backed out for no reason the same thing that happend with the first realtionship before it ..???? and now i see this girl that i really really like and i sware to god i like her so much she is younger than me about 16 17 and im 21 ... i felt a vibe from her that she wants to sit next to her a lot and she likes to walk with me alot shes basically giving me this vibe and i dont know if what im seeing is true or not .. qeustion is i wana be close to her i want her trust me i dont want to be a boring person to listen to or simply to ignore what should i do help me please ...?? i dont want to screw up again please help me ..?

Answer
Hello Moe!

First of all, you need to understand (and frankly, accept) that when relationships end, you almost never get any closure on them. The girls that dump you aren't going to come back and give you a chance to argue with their choices. You wouldn't want to do that either if the tables were reversed.

What I think is happening is that you're investing yourself way too far compared with what these girls are doing. You're jumping in with both feet and exploring all the emotion - in effect, sopping it up and leaving nothing for them!

Moe, you're the guy here. If you take the feminine roll, what's left for the girls? You have to bring the masculine energy to things and let her bring the feminine energy.

Don't be in a big rush to be too deeply entrenched in the relationship. Let it happen on it's own speed - and learn your proper roll so that your girl can explore hers.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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