Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 11/16/2008

Question
Ok i been seeing this girl for about 6 months now and i am 19 years old and she is 35 years old i know big difference but we enjoy almost everything that one another likes to do and she is always telling me how sweet and mature i am for my age and we've always been friends until recently i told her my feelings towards her and she was kinda lost because she thinks my age would be a problem but i know alot bout relationships thru my short time to know what to do and i really like her alot and she likes me as well but i just cant tell her or get "thru" to her as my age does not matter if we both love each other right?.. but she is a amazing woman and i just dont know what to do to get her to think that age is not a problem and she knows im mature,sweet, and loving and she always told me that she has never sen a smarter or more mature 19 year old in her life and she always thinks of me being 30 and i dont know why she makes a big deal of this now?? and i would really like to try and make a nice happy relationship with her cause she deserves to be happy and to be with someone that thinks the world of her and that i want to be the one that can give that to her....so any advice would be so helpful..thanks a bunch.

Answer
Hello John!

I have no idea what you're asking me here. You said that you've been seeing her for 6 months. What is the problem?

Regardless of what it is, you're right - your age isn't a factor here. Your "masculine power" is however. Because of your age, your perceived power is less and that may be the very issue.

Don't ask her what you want, tell her what you want. If she tells you that she doesn't see this going anywhere, just TELL her, that it's going where you want it to go. Don't expect her to set the terms of this relationship. It's your job - and your right.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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