Expert: Alex Strandberg - 11/19/2008

Question
there is a girl that i like and i told her i like her and she likes my personality but she doesnt find me that attractive what should i do?

Answer
Can you actually turn your situations it into something more?

The answer to that will always be the same…you can’t. If there isn’t any real attraction between you and the girl from the get go there is NOTHING you can do about it. No amount of lines or telling her how you feel will get her to change her mind about you.

The movie industry screws with a lot of guys minds by making them believe that you can turn a friendship into something sexual or romantic. What works in the movies doesn’t work in real life. Playing Peter Gabriel outside of her window won’t make her fall head over heals for you. No, she won’t read your romantic love letter that you have worked on for years and want to jump into bed with you. Sadly many men have to learn this lesson the hard way.

Even worse than the movie industries portrayal of this unfortunate situation is the Internet. I did a quick google search on ‘how to turn a friend into a lover’ and got over 15 million responses. I clicked on a couple of the results to see what kind of false hope they were giving people. Not one of these sites were able to tell the truth about this predicament. They all stated that is was very possible to turn a friendship around. One site even offered a spell that you can use to enchant the woman.

When you first approach or meet a woman she puts you into one of two categories…yes or no. Yes, she is attracted to you or no she has no attraction for you. If you get lumped into the ‘no’ category there is nothing you can do to change her mind. You are forever branded as a no.

What should you do?

Move on and learn how to attract women. You can't change her mind so it will be a fruitless pursuit to try to do so.