Expert: Alex Strandberg - 12/28/2008

Question
QUESTION: Hi Doc
I am having problems finding a woman who like me for me everytime i get close to a woman i feel like she just wnat to push me away i was raised by my mother and i kno how woman are but what is out of my reach is how to find a woman that likes my qualities  i am a nice guy and i know that not all woman like that i understand that fully  but what i dont get is why some women dont like the romantic types or the guys that care about them no matter what like i dont make my self seem like a submissive kinda kinda guy who does whatever a woman wants i let them be indipendant i will do some things for them. I also thought it may of been my looks but ive been told by a huge number of girls im am very good looking and there was no way it could be that so im not 100% sure what my problem is i am very confident when talking to girls so i really dont know whats wrong do i give off some kind of vibe that girls dont like but i dont think thats it  if you can help me that would very much apprchiated thank you
Josh from toronto,Canada

ANSWER: Hey Josh,

It's tough to answer your question from what you have written so I'll need a little bit more information from you. If you had told me you were nice but a complete pushover this would have been an easy one to answer.

What do you mean by 'romantic'? how much you buy them and when do you buy them things?

Are you very needy? Do you laugh at jokes a little too much?

Do you tell them that you like them right away?

Do you care what they think of you a little too much?

You say you aren't submissive but are you dominant/leading with them?

thank you

Alex

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: well by romantic i meen i like to cook them a dinner with wine and candle only on special occasions and same goes to buying them gifts only on birthday's christmas or once and a while for no reason at all im not at all needy i laugh the perfect amount  and i do care what they think but not to a extreme point and no i am not dominant only in bed  but never dominant out side the bedroom do you think that maybe it

Answer
It's the dominance part. If you aren't leading in an interaction then she won't be attracted to you. Leading the conversation, where you go are so on.

Also, what could be happening is you being overly cautious not to upset the girl that you are talking to. If you try to be liked by everyone you will be liked by no one. If you don't have enough courage to take risks and truly be honest and open with people then you aren't going to meet the right women.

Could also be that you aren't meeting enough women. If you approach almost every girl that is attractive to you then you will have a greater chance of meeting the right one.

Don't worry about finding a girl who likes you for you and focus on what you think of these girls. It's a small thing to focus on your opinion of them but it makes a lot of difference