Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 3/23/2008

Question
I have been adding random people that I do not know onto my Myspace. The problem is I don't know what to tell them if they ask me why I added them or if I know them or not. And, if I want to talk to them for the first time I have no idea how to start a conversation. So do you have any advice to help me on this?

Answer
Hello Garret!

This is a huge blunder on myspace's part. I much prefer the way it's done on facebook or linkedin for instance - when you add someone, they are asked if they know you first. That's a great opening!

With myspace, you just add them and there's no expectation - you're just building your network - which for all intents is worthless! You have no better an opening than if you just saw them on the street. In fact, it's even easier to approach them there!

Garret, if you're doing this as a way to meeting women, I think you're making a huge mistake. I'd much rather you learn how to approach women in real life rather than on the internet not just because it's easier, far more likely to produce datings, fun, etc., but because you're not going to start off by forming wrong ideas about the person - or she about you! This is a little complicated to explain here, so go to my website (http://beingaman.com) and watch the video on LDR's under BAM TV. This isn't specifically your problem, but it'll explain why what you're doing is such a bad idea in the first place.

With that said, I'm still going to help you, but frankly, you'd be a fool to actually use it!

You can contact these girls after the add to thank them. When you do however, you want to ask them an open-ended question. This is a question that they have to think about to answer, and it'll generate more than a one- or two-word answer.

For instance, if you ask them, "Do you like meeting on myspace?" They can say "yes" or "no" and that's it. What do you do then? Anything else will seem like you're pushing things and it'll work against you.

Instead, if you ask them, "What do you like most about myspace?" They then get to think about the answer and write you something of value so you can actually establish a connection with them.

Garret, this is a very, very weak way to meet women and you're going to find that out pretty quickly if you pursue it.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"